Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?
Quote by Groucho Marx
Groucho Marx Quotes
Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's...
A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.
From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down, I was...
Anybody who doesn't like this book is healthy
I've got the brain of a four year old. I'll bet he was glad to...
I worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.
Why should I care about posterity? What's posterity ever done for me?
Humor is reason gone mad.
I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
I've learned that everyone wants to live on top of the mountain, but all the...
Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.
One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas...
The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and...
A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.
I remember the first time I had sex - I kept the receipt.
Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for...
If I held you any closer I would be on the other side of you.
A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere.
I'm leaving because the weather is too good. I hate London when it's not raining.
My mother loved children - she would have given anything if I had been one.