Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?

Quote by Groucho Marx

Topics: Groucho Marx Quotes

Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's...

Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's...

A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.

A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.

From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down, I was...

From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down, I was...

Anybody who doesn't like this book is healthy

Anybody who doesn't like this book is healthy

I've got the brain of a four year old. I'll bet he was glad to...

I've got the brain of a four year old. I'll bet he was glad to...

I worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.

I worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.

Why should I care about posterity? What's posterity ever done for me?

Why should I care about posterity? What's posterity ever done for me?

Humor is reason gone mad.

Humor is reason gone mad.

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.

I've learned that everyone wants to live on top of the mountain, but all the...

I've learned that everyone wants to live on top of the mountain, but all the...

Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.

Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.

One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas...

One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas...

The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and...

The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and...

A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.

A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.

I remember the first time I had sex - I kept the receipt.

I remember the first time I had sex - I kept the receipt.

Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for...

Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for...

If I held you any closer I would be on the other side of you.

If I held you any closer I would be on the other side of you.

A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere.

A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere.

I'm leaving because the weather is too good. I hate London when it's not raining.

I'm leaving because the weather is too good. I hate London when it's not raining.

My mother loved children - she would have given anything if I had been one.

My mother loved children - she would have given anything if I had been one.