Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?

Quote by Groucho Marx

Topics: Groucho Marx Quotes

Next time I see you, remind me not to talk to you.

Next time I see you, remind me not to talk to you.

Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.

Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.

I chased a woman for almost two years only to discover her tastes were exactly...

I chased a woman for almost two years only to discover her tastes were exactly...

Remember men, we're fighting for this woman's honor; which is probably more than she ever...

Remember men, we're fighting for this woman's honor; which is probably more than she ever...

Either he's dead or my watch has stopped.

Either he's dead or my watch has stopped.

Wives are people who feel they don't dance enough

Wives are people who feel they don't dance enough

Life lives, life dies. Life laughs, life cries. Life gives up and life tries. But...

Life lives, life dies. Life laughs, life cries. Life gives up and life tries. But...

Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it, misdiagnosing it, and then misapplying...

Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it, misdiagnosing it, and then misapplying...

Humor is reason gone mad.

Humor is reason gone mad.

I intend to live forever, or die trying.

I intend to live forever, or die trying.

I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it.

I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it.

I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member.

I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member.

Wives are people who feel they don't dance enough.

Wives are people who feel they don't dance enough.

My mother loved children - she would have given anything if I had been one.

My mother loved children - she would have given anything if I had been one.

I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf...

I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf...

No-one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend

No-one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend

I remember the first time I had sex - I kept the receipt.

I remember the first time I had sex - I kept the receipt.

I'm leaving because the weather is too good. I hate London when it's not raining.

I'm leaving because the weather is too good. I hate London when it's not raining.

Marry me and I'll never look at another horse!

Marry me and I'll never look at another horse!

No man goes before his time - unless the boss leaves early.

No man goes before his time - unless the boss leaves early.