Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?

Quote by Groucho Marx

Topics: Groucho Marx Quotes

Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog...

Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog...

Next time I see you, remind me not to talk to you.

Next time I see you, remind me not to talk to you.

I wish to be cremated. One tenth of my ashes shall be given to my...

I wish to be cremated. One tenth of my ashes shall be given to my...

I'm leaving because the weather is too good. I hate London when it's not raining.

I'm leaving because the weather is too good. I hate London when it's not raining.

I chased a girl for two years only to discover that her tastes were exactly...

I chased a girl for two years only to discover that her tastes were exactly...

Quote me as saying I was mis-quoted.

Quote me as saying I was mis-quoted.

Alimony is like buying hay for a dead horse.

Alimony is like buying hay for a dead horse.

I worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.

I worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.

All people are born alike - except Republicans and Democrats.

All people are born alike - except Republicans and Democrats.

I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into...

I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into...

Life lives, life dies. Life laughs, life cries. Life gives up and life tries. But...

Life lives, life dies. Life laughs, life cries. Life gives up and life tries. But...

If you've heard this story before, don't stop me, because I'd like to hear it...

If you've heard this story before, don't stop me, because I'd like to hear it...

I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it.

I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it.

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.

I've learned that everyone wants to live on top of the mountain, but all the...

I've learned that everyone wants to live on top of the mountain, but all the...

Do you mind if I don't smoke ?

Do you mind if I don't smoke ?

Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men, the other 999 follow...

Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men, the other 999 follow...

The first woman was created from the rib of a man. She was not made...

The first woman was created from the rib of a man. She was not made...

Whatever good there is in small boys is usually based upon their admiration for girls...

Whatever good there is in small boys is usually based upon their admiration for girls...

Why is it that men can be bastards and women must wear pearls and smile?

Why is it that men can be bastards and women must wear pearls and smile?