A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.

Quote by Groucho Marx

Topics: Funny Quotes

Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.

Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.

I must say I find television very educational. The minute somebody turns it on, I...

I must say I find television very educational. The minute somebody turns it on, I...

Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men, the other 999 follow...

Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men, the other 999 follow...

Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.

Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.

The first thing which I can record concerning myself is, that I was born. These...

The first thing which I can record concerning myself is, that I was born. These...

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.

Why, I'd horse-whip you if I had a horse.

Why, I'd horse-whip you if I had a horse.

I worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.

I worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.

I read in the newspapers they are going to have 30 minutes of intellectual stuff...

I read in the newspapers they are going to have 30 minutes of intellectual stuff...

The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and...

The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and...

It isn't necessary to have relatives in Kansas City in order to be unhappy.

It isn't necessary to have relatives in Kansas City in order to be unhappy.

I've learned that everyone wants to live on top of the mountain, but all the...

I've learned that everyone wants to live on top of the mountain, but all the...

I read in the newspapers they are going to have 30 minutes of intellectual stuff...

I read in the newspapers they are going to have 30 minutes of intellectual stuff...

No man goes before his time - unless the boss leaves early.

No man goes before his time - unless the boss leaves early.

Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men, the other 999 follow...

Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men, the other 999 follow...

Home is where you hang your head

Home is where you hang your head

From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down, I convulsed...

From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down, I convulsed...

I don't trust anyone who doesn't laugh.

I don't trust anyone who doesn't laugh.

They say there's a heaven for those who will wait. Some say it's better, but...

They say there's a heaven for those who will wait. Some say it's better, but...

Laugh at yourself, but don't ever aim your doubt at yourself. Be bold. When you...

Laugh at yourself, but don't ever aim your doubt at yourself. Be bold. When you...