A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.

Quote by Groucho Marx

Topics: Funny Quotes

One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas...

One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas...

A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.

A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.

Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog...

Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog...

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.

Practically everybody in New York has half a mind to write a book -and does

Practically everybody in New York has half a mind to write a book -and does

I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an...

I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an...

The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and...

The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and...

I must say I find television very educational. The minute somebody turns it on, I...

I must say I find television very educational. The minute somebody turns it on, I...

Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.

Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.

Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.

Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.

Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for...

Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for...

I read in the newspapers they are going to have 30 minutes of intellectual stuff...

I read in the newspapers they are going to have 30 minutes of intellectual stuff...

I'm leaving because the weather is too good. I hate London when it's not raining.

I'm leaving because the weather is too good. I hate London when it's not raining.

My mother loved children - she would have given anything if I had been one.

My mother loved children - she would have given anything if I had been one.

Before I speak, I have something important to say.

Before I speak, I have something important to say.

If I held you any closer I would be on the other side of you.

If I held you any closer I would be on the other side of you.

I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members.

I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members.

Alimony is like buying hay for a dead horse.

Alimony is like buying hay for a dead horse.

Sex is like air; it's not important unless you aren't getting any

Sex is like air; it's not important unless you aren't getting any

Ghosts, like ladies, never speak till spoke to.

Ghosts, like ladies, never speak till spoke to.