A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.

Quote by Groucho Marx

Topics: Funny Quotes

Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and...

Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and...

Well, Art is Art, isn't it? Still, on the other hand, water is water. And...

Well, Art is Art, isn't it? Still, on the other hand, water is water. And...

My mother loved children - she would have given anything if I had been one.

My mother loved children - she would have given anything if I had been one.

Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.

Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.

From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was...

From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was...

Dont ever underestimate the importance of money. I know its often been said that money...

Dont ever underestimate the importance of money. I know its often been said that money...

Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows - marriage does.

Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows - marriage does.

Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?

Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?

Room service? Send up a larger room.

Room service? Send up a larger room.

Blood's not thicker than money.

Blood's not thicker than money.

My favourite poem is the one that starts 'Thirty days hath September' because it actually...

My favourite poem is the one that starts 'Thirty days hath September' because it actually...

Humor is reason gone mad.

Humor is reason gone mad.

I worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.

I worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.

Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.

Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.

If you've heard this story before, don't stop me, because I'd like to hear it...

If you've heard this story before, don't stop me, because I'd like to hear it...

One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas...

One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas...

My mother loved children - she would have given anything if I had been one.

My mother loved children - she would have given anything if I had been one.

Marriage is a wonderful institution...but who wants to live in an institution?

Marriage is a wonderful institution...but who wants to live in an institution?

Never advise anyone to go to war or to get married

Never advise anyone to go to war or to get married

Every mans dream is to be able to sink into the arms of a woman...

Every mans dream is to be able to sink into the arms of a woman...