A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.

Quote by Groucho Marx

Topics: Funny Quotes

I must confess, I was born at a very early age.

I must confess, I was born at a very early age.

Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog...

Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog...

From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down, I convulsed...

From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down, I convulsed...

A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere.

A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere.

In Hollywood, brides keep the bouquets and throw away the groom.

In Hollywood, brides keep the bouquets and throw away the groom.

The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've...

The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've...

I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into...

I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into...

My mother loved children - she would have given anything if I had been one.

My mother loved children - she would have given anything if I had been one.

Getting older is no problem. You just have to live long enough.

Getting older is no problem. You just have to live long enough.

Ever since they found out that Lassie was a boy, the public has believed the...

Ever since they found out that Lassie was a boy, the public has believed the...

I worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.

I worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.

I didn't like the play, but then I saw it under adverse conditions - the...

I didn't like the play, but then I saw it under adverse conditions - the...

Well, Art is Art, isn't it? Still, on the other hand, water is water. And...

Well, Art is Art, isn't it? Still, on the other hand, water is water. And...

Who are you going to believe, me or your own eyes?

Who are you going to believe, me or your own eyes?

Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it, misdiagnosing it, and then misapplying...

Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it, misdiagnosing it, and then misapplying...

My favourite poem is the one that starts 'Thirty days hath September' because it actually...

My favourite poem is the one that starts 'Thirty days hath September' because it actually...

Marry me and I'll never look at another horse!

Marry me and I'll never look at another horse!

Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others.

Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others.

Moral principle is a looser bond than pecuniary interest

Moral principle is a looser bond than pecuniary interest

Our principles are founded on the immovable basis of equal right and reason.

Our principles are founded on the immovable basis of equal right and reason.