When I was young I was amazed at Plutarch's statement that the elder Cato began at the age of eighty to learn Greek. I am amazed no longer. Old age is ready to undertake tasks that youth shirked because they…

Quote by Groucho Marx

Topics: Age Quotes, Funny Quotes

I chased a girl for two years only to discover that her tastes were exactly...

I chased a girl for two years only to discover that her tastes were exactly...

Practically everybody in New York has half a mind to write a book, and does.

Practically everybody in New York has half a mind to write a book, and does.

Who are you going to believe, me or your own eyes?

Who are you going to believe, me or your own eyes?

I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an...

I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an...

My favourite poem is the one that starts 'Thirty days hath September' because it actually...

My favourite poem is the one that starts 'Thirty days hath September' because it actually...

I worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.

I worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.

Room service? Send up a larger room.

Room service? Send up a larger room.

Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and...

Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and...

I must say I find television very educational. The minute somebody turns it on, I...

I must say I find television very educational. The minute somebody turns it on, I...

Wives are people who feel they don't dance enough.

Wives are people who feel they don't dance enough.

I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it.

I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it.

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.

I've got the brain of a four year old. I'll bet he was glad to...

I've got the brain of a four year old. I'll bet he was glad to...

Dont ever underestimate the importance of money. I know its often been said that money...

Dont ever underestimate the importance of money. I know its often been said that money...

Blood's not thicker than money.

Blood's not thicker than money.

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.

Marriage is a wonderful institution...but who wants to live in an institution?

Marriage is a wonderful institution...but who wants to live in an institution?

Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's...

Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's...

That was the day I began cutting classes and returning to TV tapings; it ultimately...

That was the day I began cutting classes and returning to TV tapings; it ultimately...

What a wretched lot of old shrivelled creatures we shall be by-and-by. Never mind- the...

What a wretched lot of old shrivelled creatures we shall be by-and-by. Never mind- the...

If you think Independence Day is Americas defining holiday, think again. Thanksgiving deserves that title,...

If you think Independence Day is Americas defining holiday, think again. Thanksgiving deserves that title,...