Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
Quote by Groucho Marx
A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere.
I intend to live forever, or die trying.
Do you mind if I don't smoke ?
No man goes before his time unless the boss leaves early.
My mother loved children - she would have given anything if I had been one.
Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows, marriage does
A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.
I wish to be cremated. One tenth of my ashes shall be given to my...
Whoever named it necking was a poor judge of anatomy.
All people are born alike - except Republicans and Democrats.
Home is where you hang your head
It isn't necessary to have relatives in Kansas City in order to be unhappy.
I must confess, I was born at a very early age.
Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for...
Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.
Life lives, life dies. Life laughs, life cries. Life gives up and life tries. But...
Wives are people who feel they don't dance enough
Wives are young men's mistresses, companions for middle age, and old men's nurses.
American women expect to find in their husbands a perfection that English women only hope...
Earth is here so kind [Australia], that just tickle her with a hoe and she...