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Quote by Groucho Marx

Topics: Groucho Marx Quotes

I read in the newspapers they are going to have 30 minutes of intellectual stuff...

I read in the newspapers they are going to have 30 minutes of intellectual stuff...

A man's only as old as the woman he feels.

A man's only as old as the woman he feels.

I've got the brain of a four year old. I'll bet he was glad to...

I've got the brain of a four year old. I'll bet he was glad to...

Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for...

Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for...

She got her looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon.

She got her looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon.

I chased a woman for almost two years only to discover her tastes were exactly...

I chased a woman for almost two years only to discover her tastes were exactly...

I find television to be very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I...

I find television to be very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I...

I'm leaving because the weather is too good. I hate London when it's not raining.

I'm leaving because the weather is too good. I hate London when it's not raining.

I wish to be cremated. One tenth of my ashes shall be given to my...

I wish to be cremated. One tenth of my ashes shall be given to my...

A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke.

A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke.

From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down, I was...

From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down, I was...

Whoever named it necking was a poor judge of anatomy.

Whoever named it necking was a poor judge of anatomy.

Before I speak, I have something important to say.

Before I speak, I have something important to say.

I must say I find television very educational. The minute somebody turns it on, I...

I must say I find television very educational. The minute somebody turns it on, I...

Why, I'd horse-whip you if I had a horse.

Why, I'd horse-whip you if I had a horse.

Well, Art is Art, isn't it? Still, on the other hand, water is water. And...

Well, Art is Art, isn't it? Still, on the other hand, water is water. And...

Life lives, life dies. Life laughs, life cries. Life gives up and life tries. But...

Life lives, life dies. Life laughs, life cries. Life gives up and life tries. But...

Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.

Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.

I hope some day to make you all a cup of coffee. Alright, peace.

I hope some day to make you all a cup of coffee. Alright, peace.

Why is there so much controversy about drug testing? I know plenty of guys who...

Why is there so much controversy about drug testing? I know plenty of guys who...

You know we armed Iraq. I wondered about that too, you know during the Persian...

You know we armed Iraq. I wondered about that too, you know during the Persian...