Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and applying the wrong remedies.

Quote by Groucho Marx

Topics: Groucho Marx Quotes

Why a four-year-old child could understand this report. Run out and find me a four-year-old...

Why a four-year-old child could understand this report. Run out and find me a four-year-old...

Practically everybody in New York has half a mind to write a book -and does

Practically everybody in New York has half a mind to write a book -and does

I remember the first time I had sex - I kept the receipt.

I remember the first time I had sex - I kept the receipt.

I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can...

I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can...

Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.

Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.

Marriage is a wonderful institution...but who wants to live in an institution?

Marriage is a wonderful institution...but who wants to live in an institution?

Either he's dead or my watch has stopped.

Either he's dead or my watch has stopped.

Who are you going to believe, me or your own eyes?

Who are you going to believe, me or your own eyes?

Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows, marriage does

Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows, marriage does

Go, and never darken my towels again.

Go, and never darken my towels again.

The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and...

The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and...

From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was...

From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was...

I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an...

I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an...

Ever since they found out that Lassie was a boy, the public has believed the...

Ever since they found out that Lassie was a boy, the public has believed the...

Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.

Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.

My mother loved children - she would have given anything if I had been one.

My mother loved children - she would have given anything if I had been one.

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.

A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke.

A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke.

If you've heard this story before, don't stop me, because I'd like to hear it...

If you've heard this story before, don't stop me, because I'd like to hear it...

Next time I see you, remind me not to talk to you.

Next time I see you, remind me not to talk to you.