I chased a girl for two years only to discover that her tastes were exactly like mine: We were both crazy about girls.

Quote by Groucho Marx

Topics: Funny Quotes, Women Quotes

Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.

Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.

From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down, I convulsed...

From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down, I convulsed...

I worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.

I worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.

If I held you any closer I would be on the other side of you.

If I held you any closer I would be on the other side of you.

Life lives, life dies. Life laughs, life cries. Life gives up and life tries. But...

Life lives, life dies. Life laughs, life cries. Life gives up and life tries. But...

I've learned that everyone wants to live on top of the mountain, but all the...

I've learned that everyone wants to live on top of the mountain, but all the...

Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows - marriage does.

Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows - marriage does.

I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an...

I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an...

Marry me and I'll never look at another horse!

Marry me and I'll never look at another horse!

Well, Art is Art, isn't it? Still, on the other hand, water is water. And...

Well, Art is Art, isn't it? Still, on the other hand, water is water. And...

Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.

Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.

I must confess, I was born at a very early age.

I must confess, I was born at a very early age.

I won't belong to any organization that would have me as a member.

I won't belong to any organization that would have me as a member.

Age is not a particularly interesting subject. Anyone can get old. All you have to...

Age is not a particularly interesting subject. Anyone can get old. All you have to...

Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others.

Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others.

I have nothing but confidence in you, and very little of that

I have nothing but confidence in you, and very little of that

Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's...

Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's...

Alimony is like buying hay for a dead horse.

Alimony is like buying hay for a dead horse.

Ive come to the conclusion that Mondays last 50% longer than the other days...each.

Ive come to the conclusion that Mondays last 50% longer than the other days...each.

When I came to Los Angeles, it was the first time that I ever felt...

When I came to Los Angeles, it was the first time that I ever felt...