When I was young I was amazed at Plutarch's statement that the elder Cato began at the age of eighty to learn Greek. I am amazed no longer. Old age is ready to undertake tasks that youth shirked because they…

Quote by Groucho Marx

Topics: Age Quotes, Funny Quotes

I'm leaving because the weather is too good. I hate London when it's not raining.

I'm leaving because the weather is too good. I hate London when it's not raining.

I've learned that everyone wants to live on top of the mountain, but all the...

I've learned that everyone wants to live on top of the mountain, but all the...

No one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend.

No one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend.

Practically everybody in New York has half a mind to write a book, and does.

Practically everybody in New York has half a mind to write a book, and does.

Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.

Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.

Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for...

Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for...

The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've...

The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've...

Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.

Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.

Dont ever underestimate the importance of money. I know its often been said that money...

Dont ever underestimate the importance of money. I know its often been said that money...

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.

Before I speak, I have something important to say.

Before I speak, I have something important to say.

Women should be obscene and not heard.

Women should be obscene and not heard.

I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can...

I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can...

If you've heard this story before, don't stop me, because I'd like to hear it...

If you've heard this story before, don't stop me, because I'd like to hear it...

Quote me as saying I was mis-quoted.

Quote me as saying I was mis-quoted.

Practically everybody in New York has half a mind to write a book -and does

Practically everybody in New York has half a mind to write a book -and does

Marriage is a wonderful institution...but who wants to live in an institution?

Marriage is a wonderful institution...but who wants to live in an institution?

My favourite poem is the one that starts 'Thirty days hath September' because it actually...

My favourite poem is the one that starts 'Thirty days hath September' because it actually...

She got her looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon.

She got her looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon.

From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down, I was...

From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down, I was...