I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it.

Quote by Groucho Marx

Topics: Groucho Marx Quotes

No one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend.

No one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend.

Who are you going to believe, me or your own eyes?

Who are you going to believe, me or your own eyes?

I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an...

I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an...

I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it.

I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it.

I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member.

I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member.

Dont ever underestimate the importance of money. I know its often been said that money...

Dont ever underestimate the importance of money. I know its often been said that money...

Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows, marriage does

Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows, marriage does

Practically everybody in New York has half a mind to write a book, and does.

Practically everybody in New York has half a mind to write a book, and does.

A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke.

A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke.

Home is where you hang your head

Home is where you hang your head

Anybody who doesn't like this book is healthy

Anybody who doesn't like this book is healthy

Wives are people who feel they don't dance enough

Wives are people who feel they don't dance enough

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.

Women should be obscene and not heard.

Women should be obscene and not heard.

Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.

Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.

Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.

Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.

Please accept my resignation. I don't care to belong to any club that will have...

Please accept my resignation. I don't care to belong to any club that will have...

Whoever named it necking was a poor judge of anatomy.

Whoever named it necking was a poor judge of anatomy.

Why, I'd horse-whip you if I had a horse.

Why, I'd horse-whip you if I had a horse.

There's one way to find out if a man is honest - ask him. If...

There's one way to find out if a man is honest - ask him. If...