Practically everybody in New York has half a mind to write a book, and does.

Quote by Groucho Marx

Topics: Groucho Marx Quotes

All people are born alike - except Republicans and Democrats.

All people are born alike - except Republicans and Democrats.

If you've heard this story before, don't stop me, because I'd like to hear it...

If you've heard this story before, don't stop me, because I'd like to hear it...

I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf...

I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf...

Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows, marriage does.

Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows, marriage does.

One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas...

One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas...

Home is where you hang your head

Home is where you hang your head

I didn't like the play, but then I saw it under adverse conditions - the...

I didn't like the play, but then I saw it under adverse conditions - the...

Wives are people who feel they don't dance enough.

Wives are people who feel they don't dance enough.

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.

I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members.

I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members.

Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others.

Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others.

Women should be obscene and not heard.

Women should be obscene and not heard.

Do you mind if I don't smoke ?

Do you mind if I don't smoke ?

Alimony is like buying hay for a dead horse.

Alimony is like buying hay for a dead horse.

Before I speak, I have something important to say.

Before I speak, I have something important to say.

Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog...

Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog...

I must confess, I was born at a very early age.

I must confess, I was born at a very early age.

Ever since they found out that Lassie was a boy, the public has believed the...

Ever since they found out that Lassie was a boy, the public has believed the...

Men are like wine - some turn to vinegar, but the best improve with age.

Men are like wine - some turn to vinegar, but the best improve with age.

Two people getting together to write a book is like three people getting together to...

Two people getting together to write a book is like three people getting together to...

Hollywood has its Oscars. Television has its Emmys. Broadway has its Tonys. And advertising has...

Hollywood has its Oscars. Television has its Emmys. Broadway has its Tonys. And advertising has...