Practically everybody in New York has half a mind to write a book, and does.

Quote by Groucho Marx

Topics: Groucho Marx Quotes

Life lives, life dies. Life laughs, life cries. Life gives up and life tries. But...

Life lives, life dies. Life laughs, life cries. Life gives up and life tries. But...

No one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend.

No one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend.

Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.

Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.

Getting older is no problem. You just have to live long enough.

Getting older is no problem. You just have to live long enough.

Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others.

Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others.

Wives are people who feel they don't dance enough

Wives are people who feel they don't dance enough

When I was young I was amazed at Plutarch's statement that the elder Cato began...

When I was young I was amazed at Plutarch's statement that the elder Cato began...

If you've heard this story before, don't stop me, because I'd like to hear it...

If you've heard this story before, don't stop me, because I'd like to hear it...

Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and...

Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and...

Wives are people who feel they don't dance enough.

Wives are people who feel they don't dance enough.

Marriage is a wonderful institution...but who wants to live in an institution?

Marriage is a wonderful institution...but who wants to live in an institution?

Why, I'd horse-whip you if I had a horse.

Why, I'd horse-whip you if I had a horse.

I won't belong to any organization that would have me as a member.

I won't belong to any organization that would have me as a member.

Go, and never darken my towels again.

Go, and never darken my towels again.

A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke.

A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke.

She got her looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon.

She got her looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon.

Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog...

Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog...

I must confess, I was born at a very early age.

I must confess, I was born at a very early age.

Old wine and friends improve with age.

Old wine and friends improve with age.

For inquire, I pray thee, of the former age, and prepare thyself to the search...

For inquire, I pray thee, of the former age, and prepare thyself to the search...

People rarely succeed unless they have fun in what they are doing.

People rarely succeed unless they have fun in what they are doing.