I've got the brain of a four year old. I'll bet he was glad to be rid of it.

Quote by Groucho Marx

Topics: Groucho Marx Quotes

I read in the newspapers they are going to have 30 minutes of intellectual stuff...

I read in the newspapers they are going to have 30 minutes of intellectual stuff...

No man goes before his time unless the boss leaves early.

No man goes before his time unless the boss leaves early.

Do you mind if I don't smoke ?

Do you mind if I don't smoke ?

Alimony is like buying hay for a dead horse.

Alimony is like buying hay for a dead horse.

A man's only as old as the woman he feels.

A man's only as old as the woman he feels.

Home is where you hang your head

Home is where you hang your head

A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke.

A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke.

Why should I care about posterity? What's posterity ever done for me?

Why should I care about posterity? What's posterity ever done for me?

Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows, marriage does

Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows, marriage does

Dont ever underestimate the importance of money. I know its often been said that money...

Dont ever underestimate the importance of money. I know its often been said that money...

One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas...

One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas...

I won't belong to any organization that would have me as a member.

I won't belong to any organization that would have me as a member.

Room service? Send up a larger room.

Room service? Send up a larger room.

Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.

Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.

Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men, the other 999 follow...

Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men, the other 999 follow...

Please accept my resignation. I don't care to belong to any club that will have...

Please accept my resignation. I don't care to belong to any club that will have...

Either he's dead or my watch has stopped.

Either he's dead or my watch has stopped.

I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf...

I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf...

Wives are people who feel they don't dance enough.

Wives are people who feel they don't dance enough.

Getting older is no problem. You just have to live long enough.

Getting older is no problem. You just have to live long enough.