Marriage is a wonderful institution...but who wants to live in an institution?

Quote by Groucho Marx

Topics: Marriage Quotes

I intend to live forever, or die trying.

I intend to live forever, or die trying.

I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members.

I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members.

When I was young I was amazed at Plutarch's statement that the elder Cato began...

When I was young I was amazed at Plutarch's statement that the elder Cato began...

Room service? Send up a larger room.

Room service? Send up a larger room.

Next time I see you, remind me not to talk to you.

Next time I see you, remind me not to talk to you.

Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's...

Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's...

A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere.

A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere.

I read in the newspapers they are going to have 30 minutes of intellectual stuff...

I read in the newspapers they are going to have 30 minutes of intellectual stuff...

I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it.

I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it.

Why, I'd horse-whip you if I had a horse.

Why, I'd horse-whip you if I had a horse.

Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.

Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.

She got her looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon.

She got her looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon.

Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog...

Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog...

I worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.

I worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.

Before I speak, I have something important to say.

Before I speak, I have something important to say.

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.

Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows, marriage does.

Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows, marriage does.

I wish to be cremated. One tenth of my ashes shall be given to my...

I wish to be cremated. One tenth of my ashes shall be given to my...

Why should I care about posterity? What's posterity ever done for me?

Why should I care about posterity? What's posterity ever done for me?

Either he's dead or my watch has stopped.

Either he's dead or my watch has stopped.