One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas I'll never know.

Quote by Groucho Marx

Topics: Groucho Marx Quotes

There's one way to find out if a man is honest - ask him. If...

There's one way to find out if a man is honest - ask him. If...

A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere.

A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere.

Please accept my resignation. I don't care to belong to any club that will have...

Please accept my resignation. I don't care to belong to any club that will have...

A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.

A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.

Room service? Send up a larger room.

Room service? Send up a larger room.

Next time I see you, remind me not to talk to you.

Next time I see you, remind me not to talk to you.

Why a four-year-old child could understand this report. Run out and find me a four-year-old...

Why a four-year-old child could understand this report. Run out and find me a four-year-old...

Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.

Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.

From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down, I was...

From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down, I was...

If I held you any closer I would be on the other side of you.

If I held you any closer I would be on the other side of you.

No man goes before his time - unless the boss leaves early.

No man goes before his time - unless the boss leaves early.

Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows, marriage does.

Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows, marriage does.

No one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend.

No one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend.

I read in the newspapers they are going to have 30 minutes of intellectual stuff...

I read in the newspapers they are going to have 30 minutes of intellectual stuff...

Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows - marriage does.

Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows - marriage does.

My favourite poem is the one that starts 'Thirty days hath September' because it actually...

My favourite poem is the one that starts 'Thirty days hath September' because it actually...

No man goes before his time unless the boss leaves early.

No man goes before his time unless the boss leaves early.

Before I speak, I have something important to say.

Before I speak, I have something important to say.

I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it.

I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it.

Marry me and I'll never look at another horse!

Marry me and I'll never look at another horse!