No one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend.

Quote by Groucho Marx

Topics: Best Friend Quotes, Funny Quotes

She got her looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon.

She got her looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon.

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.

I find television to be very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I...

I find television to be very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I...

I chased a woman for almost two years only to discover her tastes were exactly...

I chased a woman for almost two years only to discover her tastes were exactly...

Why a four-year-old child could understand this report. Run out and find me a four-year-old...

Why a four-year-old child could understand this report. Run out and find me a four-year-old...

Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows, marriage does

Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows, marriage does

When I was young I was amazed at Plutarch's statement that the elder Cato began...

When I was young I was amazed at Plutarch's statement that the elder Cato began...

Blood's not thicker than money.

Blood's not thicker than money.

Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows, marriage does.

Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows, marriage does.

Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men, the other 999 follow...

Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men, the other 999 follow...

Money will not make you happy, and happy will not make you money.

Money will not make you happy, and happy will not make you money.

I read in the newspapers they are going to have 30 minutes of intellectual stuff...

I read in the newspapers they are going to have 30 minutes of intellectual stuff...

Practically everybody in New York has half a mind to write a book -and does

Practically everybody in New York has half a mind to write a book -and does

I must confess, I was born at a very early age.

I must confess, I was born at a very early age.

Who are you going to believe, me or your own eyes?

Who are you going to believe, me or your own eyes?

I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an...

I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an...

Before I speak, I have something important to say.

Before I speak, I have something important to say.

Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.

Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.

Age cannot wither her, nor custom stale Her infinite variety, other women cloy.

Age cannot wither her, nor custom stale Her infinite variety, other women cloy.

Live your life and forget your age.

Live your life and forget your age.

Intelligence recognizes what has happened. Genius recognizes what will happen.

Intelligence recognizes what has happened. Genius recognizes what will happen.