No one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend.

Quote by Groucho Marx

Topics: Best Friend Quotes, Funny Quotes

No-one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend

No-one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend

Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?

Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?

Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.

Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.

No man goes before his time unless the boss leaves early.

No man goes before his time unless the boss leaves early.

One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas...

One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas...

A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.

A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.

Wives are people who feel they don't dance enough.

Wives are people who feel they don't dance enough.

Wives are people who feel they don't dance enough

Wives are people who feel they don't dance enough

It isn't necessary to have relatives in Kansas City in order to be unhappy.

It isn't necessary to have relatives in Kansas City in order to be unhappy.

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.

The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've...

The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've...

I have a mind to join a club and beat you over the head with...

I have a mind to join a club and beat you over the head with...

Alimony is like buying hay for a dead horse.

Alimony is like buying hay for a dead horse.

A man's only as old as the woman he feels.

A man's only as old as the woman he feels.

I'm leaving because the weather is too good. I hate London when it's not raining.

I'm leaving because the weather is too good. I hate London when it's not raining.

Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog...

Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog...

Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows, marriage does.

Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows, marriage does.

Genuine politics -- even politics worthy of the name -- the only politics I am...

Genuine politics -- even politics worthy of the name -- the only politics I am...

No poll can equal the day-to-day visits of the men and women of the Democratic...

No poll can equal the day-to-day visits of the men and women of the Democratic...