Please accept my resignation. I don't care to belong to any club that will have me as a member.

Quote by Groucho Marx

Topics: Groucho Marx Quotes

Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.

Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.

Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows - marriage does.

Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows - marriage does.

My mother loved children - she would have given anything if I had been one.

My mother loved children - she would have given anything if I had been one.

In Hollywood, brides keep the bouquets and throw away the groom.

In Hollywood, brides keep the bouquets and throw away the groom.

Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?

Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?

Why should I care about posterity? What's posterity ever done for me?

Why should I care about posterity? What's posterity ever done for me?

I have a mind to join a club and beat you over the head with...

I have a mind to join a club and beat you over the head with...

My mother loved children - she would have given anything if I had been one.

My mother loved children - she would have given anything if I had been one.

I read in the newspapers they are going to have 30 minutes of intellectual stuff...

I read in the newspapers they are going to have 30 minutes of intellectual stuff...

Blood's not thicker than money.

Blood's not thicker than money.

Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog...

Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog...

Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.

Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.

Practically everybody in New York has half a mind to write a book -and does

Practically everybody in New York has half a mind to write a book -and does

No one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend.

No one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend.

I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into...

I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into...

Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it, misdiagnosing it, and then misapplying...

Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it, misdiagnosing it, and then misapplying...

From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down, I convulsed...

From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down, I convulsed...

I chased a woman for almost two years only to discover her tastes were exactly...

I chased a woman for almost two years only to discover her tastes were exactly...

Promise me you'll never forget me because if I thought you would I'd never leave.

Promise me you'll never forget me because if I thought you would I'd never leave.

You can give without loving, but you cannot love without giving.

You can give without loving, but you cannot love without giving.