I read in the newspapers they are going to have 30 minutes of intellectual stuff on television every Monday from 7:30 to 8. to educate America. They couldn't educate America if they started at 6:30.
Quote by Groucho Marx
America And Americans Quotes
Before I speak, I have something important to say.
Life lives, life dies. Life laughs, life cries. Life gives up and life tries. But...
I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can...
Well, Art is Art, isn't it? Still, on the other hand, water is water. And...
Practically everybody in New York has half a mind to write a book, and does.
I have a mind to join a club and beat you over the head with...
I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf...
Why a four-year-old child could understand this report. Run out and find me a four-year-old...
Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's...
I must say I find television very educational. The minute somebody turns it on, I...
Getting older is no problem. You just have to live long enough.
There's one way to find out if a man is honest - ask him. If...
Alimony is like buying hay for a dead horse.
All people are born alike - except Republicans and Democrats.
Marriage is a wonderful institution...but who wants to live in an institution?
Wives are people who feel they don't dance enough.
If you've heard this story before, don't stop me, because I'd like to hear it...
A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke.
Next time I see you, remind me not to talk to you.
I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it.