Well, Art is Art, isn't it? Still, on the other hand, water is water. And east is east and west is west and if you take cranberries and stew them like applesauce they taste much more like prunes than rhubarb…

Quote by Groucho Marx

Topics: Groucho Marx Quotes

I must confess, I was born at a very early age.

I must confess, I was born at a very early age.

I have a mind to join a club and beat you over the head with...

I have a mind to join a club and beat you over the head with...

I won't belong to any organization that would have me as a member.

I won't belong to any organization that would have me as a member.

Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men, the other 999 follow...

Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men, the other 999 follow...

Home is where you hang your head

Home is where you hang your head

My mother loved children - she would have given anything if I had been one.

My mother loved children - she would have given anything if I had been one.

Practically everybody in New York has half a mind to write a book -and does

Practically everybody in New York has half a mind to write a book -and does

If you've heard this story before, don't stop me, because I'd like to hear it...

If you've heard this story before, don't stop me, because I'd like to hear it...

Room service? Send up a larger room.

Room service? Send up a larger room.

Wives are people who feel they don't dance enough.

Wives are people who feel they don't dance enough.

I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it.

I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it.

A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.

A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.

It isn't necessary to have relatives in Kansas City in order to be unhappy.

It isn't necessary to have relatives in Kansas City in order to be unhappy.

Either he's dead or my watch has stopped.

Either he's dead or my watch has stopped.

Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.

Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.

The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and...

The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and...

Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for...

Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for...

Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.

Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.

In this age of the rule of brute force, it is almost impossible for anyone...

In this age of the rule of brute force, it is almost impossible for anyone...

Love is the delightful interval between meeting a beautiful girl and discovering that she looks...

Love is the delightful interval between meeting a beautiful girl and discovering that she looks...

Adam laid himself down in Paradise to sleep While from him was taken a wife...

Adam laid himself down in Paradise to sleep While from him was taken a wife...