No man goes before his time - unless the boss leaves early.

Quote by Groucho Marx

Topics: Groucho Marx Quotes

Go, and never darken my towels again.

Go, and never darken my towels again.

My favourite poem is the one that starts 'Thirty days hath September' because it actually...

My favourite poem is the one that starts 'Thirty days hath September' because it actually...

Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.

Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.

Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog...

Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog...

Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men, the other 999 follow...

Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men, the other 999 follow...

The first thing which I can record concerning myself is, that I was born. These...

The first thing which I can record concerning myself is, that I was born. These...

Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog...

Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog...

Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.

Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.

Money will not make you happy, and happy will not make you money.

Money will not make you happy, and happy will not make you money.

I have a mind to join a club and beat you over the head with...

I have a mind to join a club and beat you over the head with...

Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows, marriage does

Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows, marriage does

I chased a woman for almost two years only to discover her tastes were exactly...

I chased a woman for almost two years only to discover her tastes were exactly...

I've got the brain of a four year old. I'll bet he was glad to...

I've got the brain of a four year old. I'll bet he was glad to...

The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and...

The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and...

No-one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend

No-one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend

I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an...

I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an...

Room service? Send up a larger room.

Room service? Send up a larger room.

Please accept my resignation. I don't care to belong to any club that will have...

Please accept my resignation. I don't care to belong to any club that will have...

Well, Art is Art, isn't it? Still, on the other hand, water is water. And...

Well, Art is Art, isn't it? Still, on the other hand, water is water. And...

Whoever named it necking was a poor judge of anatomy.

Whoever named it necking was a poor judge of anatomy.