One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas I'll never know.

Quote by Groucho Marx

Topics: Groucho Marx Quotes

Why a four-year-old child could understand this report. Run out and find me a four-year-old...

Why a four-year-old child could understand this report. Run out and find me a four-year-old...

It isn't necessary to have relatives in Kansas City in order to be unhappy.

It isn't necessary to have relatives in Kansas City in order to be unhappy.

Home is where you hang your head

Home is where you hang your head

The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've...

The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've...

I worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.

I worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.

My mother loved children - she would have given anything if I had been one.

My mother loved children - she would have given anything if I had been one.

I'm leaving because the weather is too good. I hate London when it's not raining.

I'm leaving because the weather is too good. I hate London when it's not raining.

I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf...

I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf...

I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it.

I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it.

Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others.

Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others.

She got her looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon.

She got her looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon.

Money will not make you happy, and happy will not make you money.

Money will not make you happy, and happy will not make you money.

I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members.

I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members.

Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others.

Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others.

I find television to be very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I...

I find television to be very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I...

Why, I'd horse-whip you if I had a horse.

Why, I'd horse-whip you if I had a horse.

No-one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend

No-one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend

I chased a woman for almost two years only to discover her tastes were exactly...

I chased a woman for almost two years only to discover her tastes were exactly...

Love is a never ending feeling.

Love is a never ending feeling.

Go often to the house of a friend; for weeds soon choke up the unused...

Go often to the house of a friend; for weeds soon choke up the unused...