One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas I'll never know.

Quote by Groucho Marx

Topics: Groucho Marx Quotes

All people are born alike - except Republicans and Democrats.

All people are born alike - except Republicans and Democrats.

Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows - marriage does.

Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows - marriage does.

I have nothing but confidence in you, and very little of that

I have nothing but confidence in you, and very little of that

Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.

Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.

Marriage is a wonderful institution...but who wants to live in an institution?

Marriage is a wonderful institution...but who wants to live in an institution?

Who are you going to believe, me or your own eyes?

Who are you going to believe, me or your own eyes?

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.

Marry me and I'll never look at another horse!

Marry me and I'll never look at another horse!

Either he's dead or my watch has stopped.

Either he's dead or my watch has stopped.

Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.

Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.

Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for...

Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for...

No man goes before his time unless the boss leaves early.

No man goes before his time unless the boss leaves early.

Humor is reason gone mad.

Humor is reason gone mad.

No-one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend

No-one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend

My mother loved children - she would have given anything if I had been one.

My mother loved children - she would have given anything if I had been one.

Why, I'd horse-whip you if I had a horse.

Why, I'd horse-whip you if I had a horse.

I won't belong to any organization that would have me as a member.

I won't belong to any organization that would have me as a member.

I didn't like the play, but then I saw it under adverse conditions - the...

I didn't like the play, but then I saw it under adverse conditions - the...

She got her looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon.

She got her looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon.

My mother loved children - she would have given anything if I had been one.

My mother loved children - she would have given anything if I had been one.