Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.

Quote by Groucho Marx

Topics: Animals Quotes, Best Friend Quotes, Funny Quotes

Before I speak, I have something important to say.

Before I speak, I have something important to say.

No-one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend

No-one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend

A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere.

A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere.

I find television to be very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I...

I find television to be very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I...

Youre a woman whos been getting nothing but dirty breaks. Well, we can clean and...

Youre a woman whos been getting nothing but dirty breaks. Well, we can clean and...

Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others.

Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others.

I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf...

I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf...

A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.

A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.

Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's...

Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's...

Quote me as saying I was mis-quoted.

Quote me as saying I was mis-quoted.

From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was...

From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was...

I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member.

I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member.

Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.

Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.

Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows, marriage does

Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows, marriage does

Anybody who doesn't like this book is healthy

Anybody who doesn't like this book is healthy

I must say I find television very educational. The minute somebody turns it on, I...

I must say I find television very educational. The minute somebody turns it on, I...

Home is where you hang your head

Home is where you hang your head

Remember men, we're fighting for this woman's honor; which is probably more than she ever...

Remember men, we're fighting for this woman's honor; which is probably more than she ever...

When my husband kisses my ears. My ears turn me on like nothing else, they...

When my husband kisses my ears. My ears turn me on like nothing else, they...

Find me a man who's interesting enough to have dinner with and I'll be happy.

Find me a man who's interesting enough to have dinner with and I'll be happy.