I find television to be very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go in the other room and read a book.

Quote by Groucho Marx

Topics: Groucho Marx Quotes

One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas...

One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas...

A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere.

A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere.

The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've...

The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've...

I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into...

I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into...

No one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend.

No one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend.

The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and...

The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and...

Blood's not thicker than money.

Blood's not thicker than money.

My favourite poem is the one that starts 'Thirty days hath September' because it actually...

My favourite poem is the one that starts 'Thirty days hath September' because it actually...

Life lives, life dies. Life laughs, life cries. Life gives up and life tries. But...

Life lives, life dies. Life laughs, life cries. Life gives up and life tries. But...

A man's only as old as the woman he feels.

A man's only as old as the woman he feels.

Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.

Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.

I've got the brain of a four year old. I'll bet he was glad to...

I've got the brain of a four year old. I'll bet he was glad to...

No man goes before his time unless the boss leaves early.

No man goes before his time unless the boss leaves early.

Anybody who doesn't like this book is healthy

Anybody who doesn't like this book is healthy

From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down, I convulsed...

From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down, I convulsed...

I've learned that everyone wants to live on top of the mountain, but all the...

I've learned that everyone wants to live on top of the mountain, but all the...

Practically everybody in New York has half a mind to write a book -and does

Practically everybody in New York has half a mind to write a book -and does

Do you mind if I don't smoke ?

Do you mind if I don't smoke ?

Oscar Wilde: 'Do you mind if I smoke?' Sarah Bernhardt: 'I don't care if you...

Oscar Wilde: 'Do you mind if I smoke?' Sarah Bernhardt: 'I don't care if you...

I'm not perfect, I do drink. I do smoke. Carson [Carson Daly] can't go out...

I'm not perfect, I do drink. I do smoke. Carson [Carson Daly] can't go out...