I find television to be very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go in the other room and read a book.

Quote by Groucho Marx

Topics: Groucho Marx Quotes

I have a mind to join a club and beat you over the head with...

I have a mind to join a club and beat you over the head with...

Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for...

Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for...

I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it.

I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it.

A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.

A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.

Ever since they found out that Lassie was a boy, the public has believed the...

Ever since they found out that Lassie was a boy, the public has believed the...

Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows, marriage does

Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows, marriage does

The first thing which I can record concerning myself is, that I was born. These...

The first thing which I can record concerning myself is, that I was born. These...

Marriage is a wonderful institution...but who wants to live in an institution?

Marriage is a wonderful institution...but who wants to live in an institution?

If you've heard this story before, don't stop me, because I'd like to hear it...

If you've heard this story before, don't stop me, because I'd like to hear it...

Marry me and I'll never look at another horse!

Marry me and I'll never look at another horse!

Quote me as saying I was mis-quoted.

Quote me as saying I was mis-quoted.

Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's...

Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's...

Women should be obscene and not heard.

Women should be obscene and not heard.

Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others.

Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others.

From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was...

From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was...

I read in the newspapers they are going to have 30 minutes of intellectual stuff...

I read in the newspapers they are going to have 30 minutes of intellectual stuff...

A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke.

A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke.

Who are you going to believe, me or your own eyes?

Who are you going to believe, me or your own eyes?

The eyes of the soul of the multitudes are unable to endure the vision of...

The eyes of the soul of the multitudes are unable to endure the vision of...

Listen with your ears, look with your eyes, but keep silent with your mouth.

Listen with your ears, look with your eyes, but keep silent with your mouth.

Politics is supposed to be the second-oldest profession. I have come to realize that it...

Politics is supposed to be the second-oldest profession. I have come to realize that it...

A lie travels round the world, while Truth is putting on her boots

A lie travels round the world, while Truth is putting on her boots