I find television to be very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go in the other room and read a book.

Quote by Groucho Marx

Topics: Groucho Marx Quotes

No-one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend

No-one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.

Quote me as saying I was mis-quoted.

Quote me as saying I was mis-quoted.

Blood's not thicker than money.

Blood's not thicker than money.

Well, Art is Art, isn't it? Still, on the other hand, water is water. And...

Well, Art is Art, isn't it? Still, on the other hand, water is water. And...

I read in the newspapers they are going to have 30 minutes of intellectual stuff...

I read in the newspapers they are going to have 30 minutes of intellectual stuff...

Wives are people who feel they don't dance enough

Wives are people who feel they don't dance enough

Youre a woman whos been getting nothing but dirty breaks. Well, we can clean and...

Youre a woman whos been getting nothing but dirty breaks. Well, we can clean and...

Practically everybody in New York has half a mind to write a book, and does.

Practically everybody in New York has half a mind to write a book, and does.

My favourite poem is the one that starts 'Thirty days hath September' because it actually...

My favourite poem is the one that starts 'Thirty days hath September' because it actually...

I didn't like the play, but then I saw it under adverse conditions - the...

I didn't like the play, but then I saw it under adverse conditions - the...

Marry me and I'll never look at another horse!

Marry me and I'll never look at another horse!

Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men, the other 999 follow...

Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men, the other 999 follow...

Alimony is like buying hay for a dead horse.

Alimony is like buying hay for a dead horse.

Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?

Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?

My mother loved children - she would have given anything if I had been one.

My mother loved children - she would have given anything if I had been one.

I'm leaving because the weather is too good. I hate London when it's not raining.

I'm leaving because the weather is too good. I hate London when it's not raining.

Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog...

Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog...

I won't belong to any organization that would have me as a member.

I won't belong to any organization that would have me as a member.

I'm leaving because the weather is too good. I hate London when it's not raining.

I'm leaving because the weather is too good. I hate London when it's not raining.