I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member.
Quote by Groucho Marx
Marry me and I'll never look at another horse!
Either he's dead or my watch has stopped.
One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas...
Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows, marriage does.
Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.
I'm leaving because the weather is too good. I hate London when it's not raining.
I wish to be cremated. One tenth of my ashes shall be given to my...
I worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.
Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.
I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
Humor is reason gone mad.
A man's only as old as the woman he feels.
Room service? Send up a larger room.
I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can...
Ever since they found out that Lassie was a boy, the public has believed the...
Go, and never darken my towels again.
Anybody who doesn't like this book is healthy
By burning Luther's books you may rid your bookshelves of him, but you will not...
Although most products will soon be too costly to purchase, there will be a thriving...
Prose books are the show dogs I breed and sell to support my cat.