From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Someday I intend reading it.
Quote by Groucho Marx
If you've heard this story before, don't stop me, because I'd like to hear it...
Please accept my resignation. I don't care to belong to any club that will have...
Marriage is a wonderful institution...but who wants to live in an institution?
Alimony is like buying hay for a dead horse.
Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for...
Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.
Why a four-year-old child could understand this report. Run out and find me a four-year-old...
From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down, I was...
I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it.
My mother loved children - she would have given anything if I had been one.
A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere.
Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others.
Room service? Send up a larger room.
My favourite poem is the one that starts 'Thirty days hath September' because it actually...
Humor is reason gone mad.
In Hollywood, brides keep the bouquets and throw away the groom.
Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows, marriage does.
Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and...
There's one way to find out if a man is honest - ask him. If...
If I held you any closer I would be on the other side of you.