From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Someday I intend reading it.
Quote by Groucho Marx
Room service? Send up a larger room.
I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
No man goes before his time unless the boss leaves early.
Women should be obscene and not heard.
I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it.
Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.
Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.
Go, and never darken my towels again.
Please accept my resignation. I don't care to belong to any club that will have...
A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere.
Age is not a particularly interesting subject. Anyone can get old. All you have to...
Practically everybody in New York has half a mind to write a book -and does
Well, Art is Art, isn't it? Still, on the other hand, water is water. And...
I've got the brain of a four year old. I'll bet he was glad to...
Humor is reason gone mad.
All people are born alike - except Republicans and Democrats.
Why should I care about posterity? What's posterity ever done for me?
I find television to be very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I...
I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members.
She got her looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon.