Quote me as saying I was mis-quoted.

Quote by Groucho Marx

Topics: Groucho Marx Quotes

I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member.

I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member.

Age is not a particularly interesting subject. Anyone can get old. All you have to...

Age is not a particularly interesting subject. Anyone can get old. All you have to...

I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it.

I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it.

Marry me and I'll never look at another horse!

Marry me and I'll never look at another horse!

There's one way to find out if a man is honest - ask him. If...

There's one way to find out if a man is honest - ask him. If...

I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an...

I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an...

I didn't like the play, but then I saw it under adverse conditions - the...

I didn't like the play, but then I saw it under adverse conditions - the...

From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was...

From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was...

Practically everybody in New York has half a mind to write a book, and does.

Practically everybody in New York has half a mind to write a book, and does.

Practically everybody in New York has half a mind to write a book -and does

Practically everybody in New York has half a mind to write a book -and does

Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.

Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.

Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows - marriage does.

Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows - marriage does.

I've got the brain of a four year old. I'll bet he was glad to...

I've got the brain of a four year old. I'll bet he was glad to...

I have nothing but confidence in you, and very little of that

I have nothing but confidence in you, and very little of that

Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it, misdiagnosing it, and then misapplying...

Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it, misdiagnosing it, and then misapplying...

Why should I care about posterity? What's posterity ever done for me?

Why should I care about posterity? What's posterity ever done for me?

Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's...

Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's...

I wish to be cremated. One tenth of my ashes shall be given to my...

I wish to be cremated. One tenth of my ashes shall be given to my...

Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?

Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?

I won't belong to any organization that would have me as a member.

I won't belong to any organization that would have me as a member.