Getting older is no problem. You just have to live long enough.

Quote by Groucho Marx

Topics: Groucho Marx Quotes

Marry me and I'll never look at another horse!

Marry me and I'll never look at another horse!

Anybody who doesn't like this book is healthy

Anybody who doesn't like this book is healthy

I read in the newspapers they are going to have 30 minutes of intellectual stuff...

I read in the newspapers they are going to have 30 minutes of intellectual stuff...

A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke.

A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke.

Go, and never darken my towels again.

Go, and never darken my towels again.

My favourite poem is the one that starts 'Thirty days hath September' because it actually...

My favourite poem is the one that starts 'Thirty days hath September' because it actually...

I worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.

I worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.

When I was young I was amazed at Plutarch's statement that the elder Cato began...

When I was young I was amazed at Plutarch's statement that the elder Cato began...

Marriage is a wonderful institution...but who wants to live in an institution?

Marriage is a wonderful institution...but who wants to live in an institution?

My mother loved children - she would have given anything if I had been one.

My mother loved children - she would have given anything if I had been one.

From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was...

From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was...

I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into...

I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into...

Practically everybody in New York has half a mind to write a book -and does

Practically everybody in New York has half a mind to write a book -and does

Well, Art is Art, isn't it? Still, on the other hand, water is water. And...

Well, Art is Art, isn't it? Still, on the other hand, water is water. And...

I chased a girl for two years only to discover that her tastes were exactly...

I chased a girl for two years only to discover that her tastes were exactly...

Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's...

Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's...

A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere.

A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere.

Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men, the other 999 follow...

Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men, the other 999 follow...

Next to the wound, what women make best is the bandage.

Next to the wound, what women make best is the bandage.

Why is it men are permitted to be obsessed about their work, but women are...

Why is it men are permitted to be obsessed about their work, but women are...