Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men, the other 999 follow women.
Quote by Groucho Marx
Please accept my resignation. I don't care to belong to any club that will have...
No one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend.
I'm leaving because the weather is too good. I hate London when it's not raining.
Go, and never darken my towels again.
I intend to live forever, or die trying.
Why should I care about posterity? What's posterity ever done for me?
I remember the first time I had sex - I kept the receipt.
I have a mind to join a club and beat you over the head with...
My favourite poem is the one that starts 'Thirty days hath September' because it actually...
A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere.
The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and...
I chased a girl for two years only to discover that her tastes were exactly...
Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows, marriage does.
Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.
There's one way to find out if a man is honest - ask him. If...
Wives are people who feel they don't dance enough
A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.
Humor is reason gone mad.
Putting a little time aside for clean fun and good humor is very necessary to...
Humor is consistent with pathos, whilst wit is not.