I intend to live forever, or die trying.
Quote by Groucho Marx
It isn't necessary to have relatives in Kansas City in order to be unhappy.
No man goes before his time - unless the boss leaves early.
There's one way to find out if a man is honest - ask him. If...
Anybody who doesn't like this book is healthy
Alimony is like buying hay for a dead horse.
Before I speak, I have something important to say.
I have a mind to join a club and beat you over the head with...
Getting older is no problem. You just have to live long enough.
Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog...
From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down, I convulsed...
Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.
I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can...
Home is where you hang your head
I chased a girl for two years only to discover that her tastes were exactly...
Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men, the other 999 follow...
One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas...
Dont ever underestimate the importance of money. I know its often been said that money...
No man goes before his time unless the boss leaves early.
Kill my boss? Do I dare live out the American dream?
If you think your boss is stupid, remember: you wouldn't have a job if he...