I believe there is something out there watching us. Unfortunately, it's the government.
Quote by Woody Allen
Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television.
The baby is fine. The only problem is that he looks like Edward G. Robinson.
Sex is the most fun you can have without laughing.
The lion and the calf shall lie down together but the calf won't get much...
I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead. Not sick. Not wounded. Dead.
Most of the time I don't have much fun. The rest of the time I...
Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.
Students achieving Oneness will move on to Twoness.
The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone...
And my parents finally realise that I'm kidnapped and they snap into action immediately: they...
If my film makes one more person miserable, I've done my job
What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid...
Eternal nothingness is fine if you happen to be dressed for it.
Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night.
Sex without love is an empty experience, but as empty experiences go it's one of...
80% of success is showing up.
I don't have to 'freedom-kiss' my wife when what I really want to do is...
It's impossible to experience one's death objectively and still carry a tune.
A thing is not necessarily true because a man dies for it.
Property is unstable, and youth perishes in a moment. Life itself is held in the...