I don't think my parents liked me. They put a live teddy bear in my crib.
Quote by Woody Allen
Man consists of two parts, his mind and his body, only the body has more...
There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with...
Comedy just pokes at problems, rarely confronts them squarely. Drama is like a plate of...
It seemed the world was divided into good and bad people. The good ones slept...
In Beverly Hills... they don't throw their garbage away. They make it into television shows.
Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night.
I've never been an intellectual but I have this look.
I'm very proud of my gold pocket watch. My grandfather, on his deathbed, sold me...
Seventy percent of success in life is showing up.
It's impossible to experience one's death objectively and still carry a tune.
Sex is nobody's business except the three people involved
I'm not afraid to die. I just don't want to be there when it happens.
If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans.
My one regret in life is that I am not someone else.
If my films don't show a profit, I know I'm doing something right.
Students achieving Oneness will move on to Twoness.
If you're not failing every now and again, it's a sign you're not doing anything...
Sex alleviates tension. Love causes it.
Real men stay faithful. They don't have time to look for other women because they're...
Absolutely anything is Necessary is a part of this dream, just as non-Knowledge is the...