My theory of evolution is that Darwin was adopted.
Quote by Steven Wright
Steven Wright Quotes
I was a peripheral visionary. I could see the future, but only way off to...
I was reading the dictionary. I thought it was a poem about everything.
I put instant coffee in a microwave oven and almost went back in time.
I play the harmonica. The only way I can play is if I get my...
I installed a skylight in my apartment... the people who live above me are furious!
Last year I went fishing with Salvador Dali. He was using a dotted line. He...
If you saw a heat wave, would you wave back?
I bought some batteries, but they weren't included.
Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time.
I was trying to daydream, but my mind kept wandering.
Cross country skiing is great if you live in a small country.
I'm writing a book. I've got the page numbers done.
What a nice night for an evening.
Curiosity killed the cat, but for a while I was a suspect.
It doesn't make a difference what temperature a room is, it's always room temperature.
I bought some instant water one time but I didn't know what to add to...
If God dropped acid, would he see people?
I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like I'm...
If it's a penny for your thoughts and you put in your two cents worth,...
My roommate got a pet elephant. Then it got lost. It's in the apartment somewhere.