I like to reminisce with people I don't know.

Quote by Steven Wright

Topics: Steven Wright Quotes

It's a small world, but I wouldn't want to have to paint it.

It's a small world, but I wouldn't want to have to paint it.

If you tell a joke in the forest, but nobody laughs, was it a joke?

If you tell a joke in the forest, but nobody laughs, was it a joke?

When I was crossing the border into Canada, they asked if I had any firearms...

When I was crossing the border into Canada, they asked if I had any firearms...

Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full...

Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full...

I was trying to daydream, but my mind kept wandering.

I was trying to daydream, but my mind kept wandering.

What a nice night for an evening.

What a nice night for an evening.

For my birthday I got a humidifier and a de-humidifier... I put them in the...

For my birthday I got a humidifier and a de-humidifier... I put them in the...

I watched the Indy 500, and I was thinking that if they left earlier they...

I watched the Indy 500, and I was thinking that if they left earlier they...

When I woke up this morning my girlfriend asked me, Did you sleep good? I...

When I woke up this morning my girlfriend asked me, Did you sleep good? I...

Is it weird in here, or is it just me?

Is it weird in here, or is it just me?

If you can't hear me, it's because I'm in parentheses.

If you can't hear me, it's because I'm in parentheses.

I saw a bank that said 24 Hour Banking, but I don't have that much...

I saw a bank that said 24 Hour Banking, but I don't have that much...

My theory of evolution is that Darwin was adopted.

My theory of evolution is that Darwin was adopted.

When I was in high school, I got in trouble with my girlfriend's Dad. He...

When I was in high school, I got in trouble with my girlfriend's Dad. He...

You can't have everything. Where would you put it?

You can't have everything. Where would you put it?

I'm writing an unauthorized autobiography.

I'm writing an unauthorized autobiography.

I had a friend who was a clown. When he died, all his friends went...

I had a friend who was a clown. When he died, all his friends went...

What's another word for Thesaurus?

What's another word for Thesaurus?

If one synchronised swimmer drowns, do all the rest have to drown too?

If one synchronised swimmer drowns, do all the rest have to drown too?

Whenever I think of the past, it brings back so many memories.

Whenever I think of the past, it brings back so many memories.