At one point he decided enough was enough.

Quote by Steven Wright

Topics: Steven Wright Quotes

I put instant coffee in a microwave oven and almost went back in time.

I put instant coffee in a microwave oven and almost went back in time.

I invented the cordless extension cord.

I invented the cordless extension cord.

What's another word for Thesaurus?

What's another word for Thesaurus?

How young can you die of old age?

How young can you die of old age?

When I was in high school, I got in trouble with my girlfriend's Dad. He...

When I was in high school, I got in trouble with my girlfriend's Dad. He...

I had a friend who was a clown. When he died, all his friends went...

I had a friend who was a clown. When he died, all his friends went...

I think it's wrong that only one company makes the game Monopoly.

I think it's wrong that only one company makes the game Monopoly.

I went to a general store but they wouldn't let me buy anything specific.

I went to a general store but they wouldn't let me buy anything specific.

It's a small world, but I wouldn't want to have to paint it.

It's a small world, but I wouldn't want to have to paint it.

I'm writing an unauthorized autobiography.

I'm writing an unauthorized autobiography.

If you had a million Shakespeares, could they write like a monkey?

If you had a million Shakespeares, could they write like a monkey?

When I die, I'm leaving my body to science fiction.

When I die, I'm leaving my body to science fiction.

If a word in the dictionary were misspelled, how would we know?

If a word in the dictionary were misspelled, how would we know?

The other day I... uh, no, that wasn't me.

The other day I... uh, no, that wasn't me.

I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like I'm...

I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like I'm...

I have an answering machine in my car. It says, I'm home now. But leave...

I have an answering machine in my car. It says, I'm home now. But leave...

I saw a subliminal advertising executive, but only for a second.

I saw a subliminal advertising executive, but only for a second.

There was a power outage at a department store yesterday. Twenty people were trapped on...

There was a power outage at a department store yesterday. Twenty people were trapped on...

If it's a penny for your thoughts and you put in your two cents worth,...

If it's a penny for your thoughts and you put in your two cents worth,...

So, do you live around here often?

So, do you live around here often?