It seemed the world was divided into good and bad people. The good ones slept better . . . while the bad ones seemed to enjoy the waking hours much more.
Quote by Woody Allen
The lion and the calf shall lie down together but the calf won't get much...
Man consists of two parts, his mind and his body, only the body has more...
Basically my wife was immature. I'd be at home in the bath and she'd come...
I want to tell you a terrific story about oral contraception. I asked this girl...
I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through...
My one regret in life is that I am not someone else.
And my parents finally realize that I'm kidnapped and they snap into action immediately: They...
The baby is fine. The only problem is that he looks like Edward G. Robinson.
Some guy hit my fender, and I told him, 'Be fruitful and multiply,' but not...
80% of success is showing up.
Tradition is the illusion of permanance.
In Beverly Hills... they don't throw their garbage away. They make it into television shows.
When we played softball, I'd steal second base, feel guilty and go back.
Another good thing about being poor is that when you are seventy your children will...
Who bothers to cook TV dinners? I suck them frozen.
What if nothing exists and we're all in somebody's dream?
I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead. Not sick. Not wounded. Dead.
As the poet said, 'Only God can make a tree,' probably because it's so hard...
And I set my face unto the Lord God, to seek by prayer and supplication,...
God is a metaphor for that which trancends all levels of intellectual thought. It's as...