I was nauseous and tingly all over. I was either in love or I had smallpox.

Quote by Woody Allen

Topics: Weird Love Quotes

His lack of education is more than compensated for by his keenly developed moral bankruptcy.

His lack of education is more than compensated for by his keenly developed moral bankruptcy.

The talent for being happy is appreciating and liking what you have, instead of what...

The talent for being happy is appreciating and liking what you have, instead of what...

The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone...

The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone...

My one regret in life is that I am not someone else.

My one regret in life is that I am not someone else.

It's impossible to experience one's death objectively and still carry a tune.

It's impossible to experience one's death objectively and still carry a tune.

Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.

Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.

I think a relationship is like a shark. It has to constantly move forward or...

I think a relationship is like a shark. It has to constantly move forward or...

Sex relieves tension - love causes it.

Sex relieves tension - love causes it.

If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans.

If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans.

Sex is better than talk...Talk is what you suffer through so you can get to...

Sex is better than talk...Talk is what you suffer through so you can get to...

Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television.

Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television.

It's not that I'm afraid to die. I just don't want to be there when...

It's not that I'm afraid to die. I just don't want to be there when...

Some guy hit my fender, and I told him, 'Be fruitful and multiply,' but not...

Some guy hit my fender, and I told him, 'Be fruitful and multiply,' but not...

Sex is nobody's business except the three people involved

Sex is nobody's business except the three people involved

The lion and the calf shall lie down together but the calf won't get much...

The lion and the calf shall lie down together but the calf won't get much...

I have bad reflexes. I was once run over by a car being pushed by...

I have bad reflexes. I was once run over by a car being pushed by...

Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.

Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.

The food here is terrible, and the portions are too small.

The food here is terrible, and the portions are too small.

The food in such places is so tasteless because the members associate spices and garlic...

The food in such places is so tasteless because the members associate spices and garlic...

During one of my treks through Afghanistan, we lost our corkscrew. We were compelled to...

During one of my treks through Afghanistan, we lost our corkscrew. We were compelled to...