I was nauseous and tingly all over. I was either in love or I had smallpox.
Quote by Woody Allen
Weird Love Quotes
If you want to make God laugh, tell him your future plans.
Don't knock masturbation - it's sex with someone I love
Sex without love is an empty experience, but as empty experiences go it's one of...
Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television.
If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in...
It's not that I'm afraid to die. I just don't want to be there when...
I've never been an intellectual but I have this look.
Sex is the most fun you can have without laughing.
Life is divided into the horrible and the miserable.
Tradition is the illusion of permanance.
Sex is nobody's business except the three people involved
Dying is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down.
When we played softball, I'd steal second base, feel guilty and go back.
My one regret in life is that I am not someone else.
Not only is there no God, but try finding a plumber on Sunday.
Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.
The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone...
I am not afraid of death, I just don't want to be there when it...
If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up button.
When the people stare at the sky and dream of blessedness, or when they quiver...