I was nauseous and tingly all over. I was either in love or I had smallpox.
Quote by Woody Allen
Weird Love Quotes
When we played softball, I'd steal second base, feel guilty and go back.
If you want to make God laugh, tell him your future plans.
I tended to place my wife under a pedestal.
I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through...
How can I believe in God when only last week I got my tongue caught...
Dying is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down.
If it turns out that there is a God, I don't think that he's evil....
The last time I was inside a woman was when I went to the Statue...
There are two types of people in this world, good and bad. The good sleep...
My education was dismal. I went to a series of schools for mentally disturbed teachers.
Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night.
Sex is the most fun you can have without laughing.
Basically my wife was immature. I'd be at home in the bath and she'd come...
Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.
In my house I'm the boss, my wife is just the decision maker.
In Beverly Hills... they don't throw their garbage away. They make it into television shows.
His lack of education is more than compensated for by his keenly developed moral bankruptcy.
Some guy hit my fender, and I told him, 'Be fruitful and multiply,' but not...
Who bothers to cook TV dinners? I suck them frozen.
What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid...