Sex is like having dinner: sometimes you joke about the dishes, sometimes you take the meal seriously.

Quote by Woody Allen

Topics: Sex Quotes

I was nauseous and tingly all over. I was either in love or I had...

I was nauseous and tingly all over. I was either in love or I had...

To you I'm an atheist; to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition.

To you I'm an atheist; to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition.

Seventy percent of success in life is showing up.

Seventy percent of success in life is showing up.

I think being funny is not anyone's first choice.

I think being funny is not anyone's first choice.

I failed to make the chess team because of my height.

I failed to make the chess team because of my height.

Comedy just pokes at problems, rarely confronts them squarely. Drama is like a plate of...

Comedy just pokes at problems, rarely confronts them squarely. Drama is like a plate of...

The food here is terrible, and the portions are too small.

The food here is terrible, and the portions are too small.

I'd call him a sadistic, hippophilic necrophile, but that would be beating a dead horse.

I'd call him a sadistic, hippophilic necrophile, but that would be beating a dead horse.

When we played softball, I'd steal second base, feel guilty and go back.

When we played softball, I'd steal second base, feel guilty and go back.

You can live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that...

You can live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that...

The lion and the calf shall lie down together but the calf won't get much...

The lion and the calf shall lie down together but the calf won't get much...

Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.

Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.

As the poet said, 'Only God can make a tree,' probably because it's so hard...

As the poet said, 'Only God can make a tree,' probably because it's so hard...

The lion and the calf shall lie down together but the calf won't get much...

The lion and the calf shall lie down together but the calf won't get much...

I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out of my nose.

I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out of my nose.

Practice random beauty and senseless acts of love.

Practice random beauty and senseless acts of love.

Eternal nothingness is fine if you happen to be dressed for it.

Eternal nothingness is fine if you happen to be dressed for it.

I'm astounded by people who want to 'know' the universe when it's hard enough to...

I'm astounded by people who want to 'know' the universe when it's hard enough to...

Organized crime in America takes in over forty billion dollars a year and spends very...

Organized crime in America takes in over forty billion dollars a year and spends very...

Some guy hit my fender, and I told him, 'Be fruitful and multiply,' but not...

Some guy hit my fender, and I told him, 'Be fruitful and multiply,' but not...