A relationship, I think, is like a shark, you know? It has to constantly move forward or it dies. And I think what we've got on our hands is a dead shark.
Quote by Woody Allen
Bad Relationship Quotes
And my parents finally realize that I'm kidnapped and they snap into action immediately: They...
Organized crime in America takes in over forty billion dollars a year and spends very...
I had a terrible education. I attended a school for emotionally disturbed teachers.
I was nauseous and tingly all over. I was either in love or I had...
The baby is fine. The only problem is that he looks like Edward G. Robinson.
I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead. Not sick. Not wounded. Dead.
Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.
The prison psychiatrist asked me if I thought sex was dirty. I told him only...
Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night.
Inertia accounts for two-thirds of marriages. But love accounts for the other third.
I was thrown out of NYU for cheating-with the deans wife
I tended to place my wife under a pedestal.
I ran into Isosceles. He had a great idea for a new triangle!
Some guy hit my fender, and I told him, 'Be fruitful and multiply,' but not...
In my house I'm the boss, my wife is just the decision maker.
Most of the time I don't have much fun. The rest of the time I...
I think being funny is not anyone's first choice.
It is impossible to experience one's death objectively and still carry a tune.
Comedy just pokes at problems, rarely confronts them squarely. Drama is like a plate of...
I have bad reflexes. I was once run over by a car being pushed by...