It seemed the world was divided into good and bad people. The good ones slept better while the bad ones seemed to enjoy the waking hours much more.

Quote by Woody Allen

Topics: Woody Allen Quotes

I think a relationship is like a shark. It has to constantly move forward or...

I think a relationship is like a shark. It has to constantly move forward or...

Although we've come to the end of the road, still I can't let you go,...

Although we've come to the end of the road, still I can't let you go,...

Most of the time I don't have much fun. The rest of the time I...

Most of the time I don't have much fun. The rest of the time I...

Not only is there no God, but try finding a plumber on Sunday.

Not only is there no God, but try finding a plumber on Sunday.

I don't believe in the after life, although I am bringing a change of underwear.

I don't believe in the after life, although I am bringing a change of underwear.

I believe there is something out there watching us. Unfortunately, it's the government.

I believe there is something out there watching us. Unfortunately, it's the government.

I don't have to 'freedom-kiss' my wife when what I really want to do is...

I don't have to 'freedom-kiss' my wife when what I really want to do is...

If there is reincarnation, I'd like to come back as Pamela Andersons fingertips.

If there is reincarnation, I'd like to come back as Pamela Andersons fingertips.

Seventy percent of success in life is showing up.

Seventy percent of success in life is showing up.

Eighty percent of success is showing up.

Eighty percent of success is showing up.

I'd call him a sadistic, hippophilic necrophile, but that would be beating a dead horse.

I'd call him a sadistic, hippophilic necrophile, but that would be beating a dead horse.

What if nothing exists and we're all in somebody's dream?

What if nothing exists and we're all in somebody's dream?

Dying is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down.

Dying is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down.

Love is the answer, but while youre waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty...

Love is the answer, but while youre waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty...

Time is nature's way of keeping everything from happening at once.

Time is nature's way of keeping everything from happening at once.

It's impossible to experience one's death objectively and still carry a tune.

It's impossible to experience one's death objectively and still carry a tune.

On the plus side, death is one of the few things that can be done...

On the plus side, death is one of the few things that can be done...

I was thrown out of NYU for cheating-with the deans wife

I was thrown out of NYU for cheating-with the deans wife

Being faithful shouldn't be challenging, cheating should. Too bad its the other way around though.

Being faithful shouldn't be challenging, cheating should. Too bad its the other way around though.

'Tis my opinion every man cheats in his own way, and he is only honest...

'Tis my opinion every man cheats in his own way, and he is only honest...

To hear some men talk of the government, you would suppose that Congress was the...

To hear some men talk of the government, you would suppose that Congress was the...