It seemed the world was divided into good and bad people. The good ones slept better while the bad ones seemed to enjoy the waking hours much more.

Quote by Woody Allen

Topics: Woody Allen Quotes

The food here is terrible, and the portions are too small.

The food here is terrible, and the portions are too small.

Eternity is really long, especially near the end

Eternity is really long, especially near the end

I think you should defend to the death their right to march, and then go...

I think you should defend to the death their right to march, and then go...

I am two with nature.

I am two with nature.

If you want to make God laugh, tell him your future plans.

If you want to make God laugh, tell him your future plans.

In my house I'm the boss, my wife is just the decision maker.

In my house I'm the boss, my wife is just the decision maker.

Time is nature's way of keeping everything from happening at once.

Time is nature's way of keeping everything from happening at once.

There are two types of people in this world, good and bad. The good sleep...

There are two types of people in this world, good and bad. The good sleep...

I don't have to 'freedom-kiss' my wife when what I really want to do is...

I don't have to 'freedom-kiss' my wife when what I really want to do is...

I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead. Not sick. Not wounded. Dead.

I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead. Not sick. Not wounded. Dead.

My luck is getting worse and worse. Last night, for instance, I was mugged by...

My luck is getting worse and worse. Last night, for instance, I was mugged by...

I was nauseous and tingly all over. I was either in love or I had...

I was nauseous and tingly all over. I was either in love or I had...

Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.

Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.

And my parents finally realize that I'm kidnapped and they snap into action immediately: They...

And my parents finally realize that I'm kidnapped and they snap into action immediately: They...

There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with...

There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with...

I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through...

I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through...

His lack of education is more than compensated for by his keenly developed moral bankruptcy.

His lack of education is more than compensated for by his keenly developed moral bankruptcy.

The lion and the calf shall lie down together but the calf won't get much...

The lion and the calf shall lie down together but the calf won't get much...

When our memories outweigh our dreams, we have grown old.

When our memories outweigh our dreams, we have grown old.

If you're in a bad situation, don't worry it'll change. If you're in a good...

If you're in a bad situation, don't worry it'll change. If you're in a good...

Laugh and the world laughs with you, snore and you sleep alone.

Laugh and the world laughs with you, snore and you sleep alone.