You can live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that make you want to live to be a hundred.
Quote by Woody Allen
Woody Allen Quotes
When we played softball, I'd steal second base, feel guilty and go back.
The last time I was inside a woman was when I was inside the Statue...
He was so depressed, he tried to commit suicide by inhaling next to an Armenian.
My luck is getting worse and worse. Last night, for instance, I was mugged by...
I had a terrible education. I attended a school for emotionally disturbed teachers.
In my house I'm the boss, my wife is just the decision maker.
I was thrown out of NYU for cheating-with the deans wife
Sex alleviates tension. Love causes it
There are two types of people in this world, good and bad. The good sleep...
Although we've come to the end of the road, still I can't let you go,...
Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television.
I took a speed-reading course and read War and Peace in twenty minutes. It involves...
The study of economy usually shows us that the best time for purchase was last...
Eternity is really long, especially near the end
Eternal nothingness is fine if you happen to be dressed for it.
80% of success is showing up.
I'd call him a sadistic, hippophilic necrophile, but that would be beating a dead horse.
If it turns out that there is a God, I don't think that he's evil....
All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do...
Neutral men are the devil's allies.
God helps three sorts of people: fools, children and drunkards