You can live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that make you want to live to be a hundred.

Quote by Woody Allen

Topics: Woody Allen Quotes

Practice random beauty and senseless acts of love.

Practice random beauty and senseless acts of love.

My luck is getting worse and worse. Last night, for instance, I was mugged by...

My luck is getting worse and worse. Last night, for instance, I was mugged by...

I don't think my parents liked me. They put a live teddy bear in my...

I don't think my parents liked me. They put a live teddy bear in my...

If you're not failing every now and again, it's a sign you're not doing anything...

If you're not failing every now and again, it's a sign you're not doing anything...

Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television.

Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television.

I don't have to 'freedom-kiss' my wife when what I really want to do is...

I don't have to 'freedom-kiss' my wife when what I really want to do is...

Organized crime in America takes in over forty billion dollars a year and spends very...

Organized crime in America takes in over forty billion dollars a year and spends very...

The last time I was inside a woman was when I went to the Statue...

The last time I was inside a woman was when I went to the Statue...

When we played softball, I'd steal second base, feel guilty and go back.

When we played softball, I'd steal second base, feel guilty and go back.

My education was dismal. I went to a series of schools for mentally disturbed teachers.

My education was dismal. I went to a series of schools for mentally disturbed teachers.

Sex is the most fun you can have without laughing.

Sex is the most fun you can have without laughing.

What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid...

What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid...

The lion and the calf shall lie down together but the calf won't get much...

The lion and the calf shall lie down together but the calf won't get much...

Don't knock masturbation - it's sex with someone I love

Don't knock masturbation - it's sex with someone I love

She wore a short skirt and a tight sweater and her figure described a set...

She wore a short skirt and a tight sweater and her figure described a set...

There are two types of people in this world, good and bad. The good sleep...

There are two types of people in this world, good and bad. The good sleep...

Sex relieves tension - love causes it.

Sex relieves tension - love causes it.

I believe there is something out there watching over us. Unfortunately, it's the government.

I believe there is something out there watching over us. Unfortunately, it's the government.

Sex appeal is 50% what you've got and 50% what people think you've got.

Sex appeal is 50% what you've got and 50% what people think you've got.

If my film makes one more person miserable, I've done my job

If my film makes one more person miserable, I've done my job

I won't be happy till I'm as famous as God.

I won't be happy till I'm as famous as God.