You can live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that make you want to live to be a hundred.

Quote by Woody Allen

Topics: Woody Allen Quotes

Dying is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down.

Dying is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down.

In Beverly Hills... they don't throw their garbage away. They make it into television shows.

In Beverly Hills... they don't throw their garbage away. They make it into television shows.

I had a terrible education. I attended a school for emotionally disturbed teachers.

I had a terrible education. I attended a school for emotionally disturbed teachers.

I think being funny is not anyone's first choice.

I think being funny is not anyone's first choice.

Sex without love is an empty experience, but as empty experiences go it's one of...

Sex without love is an empty experience, but as empty experiences go it's one of...

Why are our days numbered and not, say, lettered?

Why are our days numbered and not, say, lettered?

Sex is the most fun you can have without laughing.

Sex is the most fun you can have without laughing.

His lack of education is more than compensated for by his keenly developed moral bankruptcy.

His lack of education is more than compensated for by his keenly developed moral bankruptcy.

There is no remedy for sex but more sex.

There is no remedy for sex but more sex.

To you I'm an atheist; to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition.

To you I'm an atheist; to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition.

When we played softball, I'd steal second base, feel guilty and go back.

When we played softball, I'd steal second base, feel guilty and go back.

Seventy percent of success in life is showing up

Seventy percent of success in life is showing up

To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering, one must not love. But then, one...

To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering, one must not love. But then, one...

It is no secret that organized crime in America takes in over forty billion dollars...

It is no secret that organized crime in America takes in over forty billion dollars...

If it turns out that there is a God, I don't think that he's evil....

If it turns out that there is a God, I don't think that he's evil....

Death is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down....

Death is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down....

And my parents finally realise that I'm kidnapped and they snap into action immediately: they...

And my parents finally realise that I'm kidnapped and they snap into action immediately: they...

If my film makes one more person miserable, I've done my job

If my film makes one more person miserable, I've done my job

After twelve years of therapy my psychiatrist said something that brought tears to my eyes....

After twelve years of therapy my psychiatrist said something that brought tears to my eyes....

Baseball is 90% mental. The other half is physical.

Baseball is 90% mental. The other half is physical.

Heigh ho, heigh ho! / It's off to work we go.

Heigh ho, heigh ho! / It's off to work we go.