I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through not dying.

Quote by Woody Allen

Topics: Achievement Quotes, Funny Quotes, Immortality Quotes

Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television.

Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television.

Not only is there no God, but try getting a plumber on weekends.

Not only is there no God, but try getting a plumber on weekends.

There is no remedy for sex but more sex.

There is no remedy for sex but more sex.

I think you should defend to the death their right to march, and then go...

I think you should defend to the death their right to march, and then go...

There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with...

There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with...

Who bothers to cook TV dinners? I suck them frozen.

Who bothers to cook TV dinners? I suck them frozen.

His lack of education is more than compensated for by his keenly developed moral bankruptcy.

His lack of education is more than compensated for by his keenly developed moral bankruptcy.

Marriage is the death of hope.

Marriage is the death of hope.

More than any other time in history, mankind faces a crossroads. One path leads to...

More than any other time in history, mankind faces a crossroads. One path leads to...

I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into...

I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into...

You can live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that...

You can live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that...

Students achieving Oneness will move on to Twoness.

Students achieving Oneness will move on to Twoness.

The lion and the calf shall lie down together but the calf won't get much...

The lion and the calf shall lie down together but the calf won't get much...

Sex is nobody's business except the three people involved

Sex is nobody's business except the three people involved

I think being funny is not anyone's first choice.

I think being funny is not anyone's first choice.

Seventy percent of success in life is showing up.

Seventy percent of success in life is showing up.

Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television.

Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television.

The way I see it, if you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with...

The way I see it, if you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with...

Don't judge each day by the harvest you reap, but by the seeds you plant.

Don't judge each day by the harvest you reap, but by the seeds you plant.

Life is like an onion; you peel off one layer at a time and sometimes...

Life is like an onion; you peel off one layer at a time and sometimes...