I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through not dying.

Quote by Woody Allen

Topics: Achievement Quotes, Funny Quotes, Immortality Quotes

Eighty percent of success is showing up.

Eighty percent of success is showing up.

Comedy just pokes at problems, rarely confronts them squarely. Drama is like a plate of...

Comedy just pokes at problems, rarely confronts them squarely. Drama is like a plate of...

My education was dismal. I went to a series of schools for mentally disturbed teachers.

My education was dismal. I went to a series of schools for mentally disturbed teachers.

On the plus side, death is one of the few things that can be done...

On the plus side, death is one of the few things that can be done...

When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room.

When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room.

In Beverly Hills... they don't throw their garbage away. They make it into television shows.

In Beverly Hills... they don't throw their garbage away. They make it into television shows.

It seemed the world was divided into good and bad people. The good ones slept...

It seemed the world was divided into good and bad people. The good ones slept...

I am two with nature.

I am two with nature.

If my films don't show a profit, I know I'm doing something right.

If my films don't show a profit, I know I'm doing something right.

I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead. Not sick. Not wounded. Dead.

I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead. Not sick. Not wounded. Dead.

Love is the answer, but while youre waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty...

Love is the answer, but while youre waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty...

Don't knock masturbation - it's sex with someone I love

Don't knock masturbation - it's sex with someone I love

You can live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that...

You can live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that...

I am not afraid of death, I just don't want to be there when it...

I am not afraid of death, I just don't want to be there when it...

My one regret in life is that I am not someone else.

My one regret in life is that I am not someone else.

Sex is like having dinner: sometimes you joke about the dishes, sometimes you take the...

Sex is like having dinner: sometimes you joke about the dishes, sometimes you take the...

I'm not afraid to die. I just don't want to be there when it happens.

I'm not afraid to die. I just don't want to be there when it happens.

Although we've come to the end of the road, still I can't let you go,...

Although we've come to the end of the road, still I can't let you go,...

The spiritualization of sensuality is called love: it is a great triumph over Christianity.

The spiritualization of sensuality is called love: it is a great triumph over Christianity.

I, with a deeper instinct, choose a man who compels my strength, who makes enormous...

I, with a deeper instinct, choose a man who compels my strength, who makes enormous...