I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through not dying.

Quote by Woody Allen

Topics: Achievement Quotes, Funny Quotes, Immortality Quotes

80% of success is showing up.

80% of success is showing up.

It seemed the world was divided into good and bad people. The good ones slept...

It seemed the world was divided into good and bad people. The good ones slept...

The food here is terrible, and the portions are too small.

The food here is terrible, and the portions are too small.

Eighty percent of success is showing up.

Eighty percent of success is showing up.

Tradition is the illusion of permanance.

Tradition is the illusion of permanance.

More than any other time in history, mankind faces a crossroads. One path leads to...

More than any other time in history, mankind faces a crossroads. One path leads to...

I took the speed reading course and read 'War and Peace' in twenty minutes. It's...

I took the speed reading course and read 'War and Peace' in twenty minutes. It's...

I was nauseous and tingly all over. I was either in love or I had...

I was nauseous and tingly all over. I was either in love or I had...

If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans.

If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans.

Sex is the most fun you can have without laughing.

Sex is the most fun you can have without laughing.

There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with...

There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with...

I believe there is something out there watching over us. Unfortunately, it's the government.

I believe there is something out there watching over us. Unfortunately, it's the government.

Practice random beauty and senseless acts of love.

Practice random beauty and senseless acts of love.

I don't think my parents liked me. They put a live teddy bear in my...

I don't think my parents liked me. They put a live teddy bear in my...

I've never been an intellectual but I have this look.

I've never been an intellectual but I have this look.

In Beverly Hills...they don't throw their garbage away. They make it into television shows.

In Beverly Hills...they don't throw their garbage away. They make it into television shows.

It is impossible to experience one's death objectively and still carry a tune.

It is impossible to experience one's death objectively and still carry a tune.

Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television.

Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television.

When you get to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on.

When you get to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on.

Just because today is a terrible day doesn't mean tomorrow won't be the best day...

Just because today is a terrible day doesn't mean tomorrow won't be the best day...