I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through not dying.

Quote by Woody Allen

Topics: Achievement Quotes, Funny Quotes, Immortality Quotes

Comedy just pokes at problems, rarely confronts them squarely. Drama is like a plate of...

Comedy just pokes at problems, rarely confronts them squarely. Drama is like a plate of...

The lion and the calf shall lie down together but the calf won't get much...

The lion and the calf shall lie down together but the calf won't get much...

It's not that I'm afraid to die. I just don't want to be there when...

It's not that I'm afraid to die. I just don't want to be there when...

If you're not failing every now and again, it's a sign you're not doing anything...

If you're not failing every now and again, it's a sign you're not doing anything...

Another good thing about being poor is that when you are seventy your children will...

Another good thing about being poor is that when you are seventy your children will...

His lack of education is more than compensated for by his keenly developed moral bankruptcy.

His lack of education is more than compensated for by his keenly developed moral bankruptcy.

The study of economy usually shows us that the best time for purchase was last...

The study of economy usually shows us that the best time for purchase was last...

Man consists of two parts, his mind and his body, only the body has more...

Man consists of two parts, his mind and his body, only the body has more...

My one regret in life is that I am not someone else.

My one regret in life is that I am not someone else.

Sex is nobody's business except the three people involved

Sex is nobody's business except the three people involved

There is no remedy for sex but more sex.

There is no remedy for sex but more sex.

If you want to make God laugh, tell him your future plans.

If you want to make God laugh, tell him your future plans.

I don't believe in the after life, although I am bringing a change of underwear.

I don't believe in the after life, although I am bringing a change of underwear.

Although we've come to the end of the road, still I can't let you go,...

Although we've come to the end of the road, still I can't let you go,...

You can live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that...

You can live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that...

Inertia accounts for two-thirds of marriages. But love accounts for the other third.

Inertia accounts for two-thirds of marriages. But love accounts for the other third.

I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into...

I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into...

Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering - and it's all over much too...

Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering - and it's all over much too...

A man may be so much of everything that he is nothing of anything.

A man may be so much of everything that he is nothing of anything.

Don't worry. Things will get worse.

Don't worry. Things will get worse.