I went to a restaurant that serves reakfast at any time. So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance.

Quote by Steven Wright

Topics: Steven Wright Quotes

There was a power outage at a department store yesterday. Twenty people were trapped on...

There was a power outage at a department store yesterday. Twenty people were trapped on...

It's a small world, but I wouldn't want to have to paint it.

It's a small world, but I wouldn't want to have to paint it.

I got a chain letter by fax. It's very simple. You just fax a dollar...

I got a chain letter by fax. It's very simple. You just fax a dollar...

Last week the candle factory burned down. Everyone just stood around and sang Happy Birthday.

Last week the candle factory burned down. Everyone just stood around and sang Happy Birthday.

I stayed in a really old hotel last night. They sent me a wake-up letter.

I stayed in a really old hotel last night. They sent me a wake-up letter.

There's a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.

There's a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.

I went down the street to the 24-hour grocery. When I got there, the guy...

I went down the street to the 24-hour grocery. When I got there, the guy...

Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time.

Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time.

If one synchronised swimmer drowns, do all the rest have to drown too?

If one synchronised swimmer drowns, do all the rest have to drown too?

At one point he decided enough was enough.

At one point he decided enough was enough.

Don't you hate when your hand falls asleep and you know it will be up...

Don't you hate when your hand falls asleep and you know it will be up...

What's another word for Thesaurus?

What's another word for Thesaurus?

For my birthday I got a humidifier and a de-humidifier... I put them in the...

For my birthday I got a humidifier and a de-humidifier... I put them in the...

I met this wonderful girl at Macy's. She was buying clothes and I was putting...

I met this wonderful girl at Macy's. She was buying clothes and I was putting...

A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths.

A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths.

I'm writing an unauthorized autobiography.

I'm writing an unauthorized autobiography.

I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like I'm...

I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like I'm...

I have the world's largest collection of seashells. I keep it on all the beaches...

I have the world's largest collection of seashells. I keep it on all the beaches...

I was a peripheral visionary. I could see the future, but only way off to...

I was a peripheral visionary. I could see the future, but only way off to...

On the other hand, you have different fingers.

On the other hand, you have different fingers.