I had some eyeglasses. I was walking down the street when suddenly the prescription ran out.
Quote by Steven Wright
Steven Wright Quotes
The Stones, I love the Stones. I watch them whenever I can. Fred, Barney.
When I die, I'm leaving my body to science fiction.
I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize
What's another word for Thesaurus?
I have an answering machine in my car. It says, I'm home now. But leave...
You can't have everything. Where would you put it?
If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens...
Is it weird in here, or is it just me?
Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks?
There was a power outage at a department store yesterday. Twenty people were trapped on...
I think it's wrong that only one company makes the game Monopoly.
I had a friend who was a clown. When he died, all his friends went...
I got this powdered water - now I don't know what to add.
I went to a general store but they wouldn't let me buy anything specific.
If it's a penny for your thoughts and you put in your two cents worth,...
I invented the cordless extension cord.
If one synchronised swimmer drowns, do all the rest have to drown too?
If a word in the dictionary were misspelled, how would we know?
Whenever I think of the past, it brings back so many memories.
Last week the candle factory burned down. Everyone just stood around and sang Happy Birthday.