Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks?

Quote by Steven Wright

Topics: Employees Quotes

I went to a general store but they wouldn't let me buy anything specific.

I went to a general store but they wouldn't let me buy anything specific.

I had to stop driving my car for a while... the tires got dizzy.

I had to stop driving my car for a while... the tires got dizzy.

I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit...

I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit...

How to make a million dollars: First, get a million dollars.

How to make a million dollars: First, get a million dollars.

Whenever I think of the past, it brings back so many memories.

Whenever I think of the past, it brings back so many memories.

I like to reminisce with people I don't know.

I like to reminisce with people I don't know.

If a word in the dictionary were misspelled, how would we know?

If a word in the dictionary were misspelled, how would we know?

A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths.

A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths.

I intend to live forever. So far, so good.

I intend to live forever. So far, so good.

George is a radio announcer, and when he walks under a bridge... you can't hear...

George is a radio announcer, and when he walks under a bridge... you can't hear...

Don't you hate when your hand falls asleep and you know it will be up...

Don't you hate when your hand falls asleep and you know it will be up...

I saw a subliminal advertising executive, but only for a second.

I saw a subliminal advertising executive, but only for a second.

Ever notice how irons have a setting for permanent press? I don't get it.

Ever notice how irons have a setting for permanent press? I don't get it.

The other day I... uh, no, that wasn't me.

The other day I... uh, no, that wasn't me.

In Vegas, I got into a long argument with the man at the roulette wheel...

In Vegas, I got into a long argument with the man at the roulette wheel...

There was a power outage at a department store yesterday. Twenty people were trapped on...

There was a power outage at a department store yesterday. Twenty people were trapped on...

The Stones, I love the Stones. I watch them whenever I can. Fred, Barney.

The Stones, I love the Stones. I watch them whenever I can. Fred, Barney.

Love is a flame that burns in heaven, And whose soft reflections radiate to us....

Love is a flame that burns in heaven, And whose soft reflections radiate to us....

...Him that I love, I wish to be free--even from me

...Him that I love, I wish to be free--even from me

When you work you fulfill a part of earth's furthest dream, assigned to you when...

When you work you fulfill a part of earth's furthest dream, assigned to you when...