There's a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.

Quote by Steven Wright

Topics: Steven Wright Quotes

If it's a penny for your thoughts and you put in your two cents worth,...

If it's a penny for your thoughts and you put in your two cents worth,...

What's another word for Thesaurus?

What's another word for Thesaurus?

When I die, I'm leaving my body to science fiction.

When I die, I'm leaving my body to science fiction.

Ever notice how irons have a setting for permanent press? I don't get it.

Ever notice how irons have a setting for permanent press? I don't get it.

I was walking down the street wearing glasses when the prescription ran out.

I was walking down the street wearing glasses when the prescription ran out.

I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.

I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.

Hermits have no peer pressure.

Hermits have no peer pressure.

I like to reminisce with people I don't know.

I like to reminisce with people I don't know.

Last week the candle factory burned down. Everyone just stood around and sang Happy Birthday.

Last week the candle factory burned down. Everyone just stood around and sang Happy Birthday.

I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit...

I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit...

Why don't they make the whole plane out of that black box stuff.

Why don't they make the whole plane out of that black box stuff.

Curiosity killed the cat, but for a while I was a suspect.

Curiosity killed the cat, but for a while I was a suspect.

The other day I... uh, no, that wasn't me.

The other day I... uh, no, that wasn't me.

When I was a kid, I went to the store and asked the guy, Do...

When I was a kid, I went to the store and asked the guy, Do...

My theory of evolution is that Darwin was adopted.

My theory of evolution is that Darwin was adopted.

The only reason people get lost in thought is because its unfamiliar territory.

The only reason people get lost in thought is because its unfamiliar territory.

I saw a subliminal advertising executive, but only for a second.

I saw a subliminal advertising executive, but only for a second.

Everywhere is within walking distance if you have the time.

Everywhere is within walking distance if you have the time.

I was always too mature for my age - and not very happy. I had...

I was always too mature for my age - and not very happy. I had...

All things must change To something new, to something strange.

All things must change To something new, to something strange.