There's a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.

Quote by Steven Wright

Topics: Steven Wright Quotes

The Stones, I love the Stones. I watch them whenever I can. Fred, Barney.

The Stones, I love the Stones. I watch them whenever I can. Fred, Barney.

There was a power outage at a department store yesterday. Twenty people were trapped on...

There was a power outage at a department store yesterday. Twenty people were trapped on...

So, do you live around here often?

So, do you live around here often?

I went to the museum where they had all the heads and arms from the...

I went to the museum where they had all the heads and arms from the...

If you shoot at mimes, should you use a silencer?

If you shoot at mimes, should you use a silencer?

You can't have everything. Where would you put it?

You can't have everything. Where would you put it?

I was a peripheral visionary. I could see the future, but only way off to...

I was a peripheral visionary. I could see the future, but only way off to...

I bought some instant water one time but I didn't know what to add to...

I bought some instant water one time but I didn't know what to add to...

In Vegas, I got into a long argument with the man at the roulette wheel...

In Vegas, I got into a long argument with the man at the roulette wheel...

It's a small world, but I wouldn't want to have to paint it.

It's a small world, but I wouldn't want to have to paint it.

Babies don't need a vacation, but I still see them at the beach... it pisses...

Babies don't need a vacation, but I still see them at the beach... it pisses...

I'm writing an unauthorized autobiography.

I'm writing an unauthorized autobiography.

Curiosity killed the cat, but for a while I was a suspect.

Curiosity killed the cat, but for a while I was a suspect.

I busted a mirror and got seven years bad luck, but my lawyer thinks he...

I busted a mirror and got seven years bad luck, but my lawyer thinks he...

I had to stop driving my car for a while... the tires got dizzy.

I had to stop driving my car for a while... the tires got dizzy.

I bought some batteries, but they weren't included.

I bought some batteries, but they weren't included.

I went to a restaurant that serves reakfast at any time. So I ordered French...

I went to a restaurant that serves reakfast at any time. So I ordered French...

I saw a subliminal advertising executive, but only for a second.

I saw a subliminal advertising executive, but only for a second.

There has been only one Christmas -- the rest are anniversaries.

There has been only one Christmas -- the rest are anniversaries.

Happiness is sitting down to watch slides of your neighbor's vacation and finding out he...

Happiness is sitting down to watch slides of your neighbor's vacation and finding out he...

Never regret. If it's good, it's wonderful. If it's bad, it's experience.

Never regret. If it's good, it's wonderful. If it's bad, it's experience.