I got this powdered water - now I don't know what to add.

Quote by Steven Wright

Topics: Steven Wright Quotes

When I was a kid, I went to the store and asked the guy, Do...

When I was a kid, I went to the store and asked the guy, Do...

When I die, I'm leaving my body to science fiction.

When I die, I'm leaving my body to science fiction.

At one point he decided enough was enough.

At one point he decided enough was enough.

I saw a subliminal advertising executive, but only for a second.

I saw a subliminal advertising executive, but only for a second.

What's another word for Thesaurus?

What's another word for Thesaurus?

I bought some instant water one time but I didn't know what to add to...

I bought some instant water one time but I didn't know what to add to...

What a nice night for an evening.

What a nice night for an evening.

The Bermuda Triangle got tired of warm weather. It moved to Alaska. Now Santa Claus...

The Bermuda Triangle got tired of warm weather. It moved to Alaska. Now Santa Claus...

I bought some batteries, but they weren't included.

I bought some batteries, but they weren't included.

I installed a skylight in my apartment... the people who live above me are furious!

I installed a skylight in my apartment... the people who live above me are furious!

I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.

I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.

You can't have everything. Where would you put it?

You can't have everything. Where would you put it?

If you had a million Shakespeares, could they write like a monkey?

If you had a million Shakespeares, could they write like a monkey?

I was reading the dictionary. I thought it was a poem about everything.

I was reading the dictionary. I thought it was a poem about everything.

I met this wonderful girl at Macy's. She was buying clothes and I was putting...

I met this wonderful girl at Macy's. She was buying clothes and I was putting...

George is a radio announcer, and when he walks under a bridge... you can't hear...

George is a radio announcer, and when he walks under a bridge... you can't hear...

I invented the cordless extension cord.

I invented the cordless extension cord.

I was walking down the street wearing glasses when the prescription ran out.

I was walking down the street wearing glasses when the prescription ran out.

I went down the street to the 24-hour grocery. When I got there, the guy...

I went down the street to the 24-hour grocery. When I got there, the guy...

If you can't hear me, it's because I'm in parentheses.

If you can't hear me, it's because I'm in parentheses.