I got this powdered water - now I don't know what to add.
Quote by Steven Wright
Steven Wright Quotes
I went to a general store. They wouldn't let me buy anything specifically.
I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like I'm...
It doesn't make a difference what temperature a room is, it's always room temperature.
I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit...
I was a peripheral visionary. I could see the future, but only way off to...
If you are in a spaceship that is traveling at the speed of light, and...
It doesn't matter what temperature the room is, it's always room temperature.
I intend to live forever. So far, so good.
I was trying to daydream, but my mind kept wandering.
I like to reminisce with people I don't know.
I think it's wrong that only one company makes the game Monopoly.
If you saw a heat wave, would you wave back?
I got a chain letter by fax. It's very simple. You just fax a dollar...
Hermits have no peer pressure.
How young can you die of old age?
Whenever I think of the past, it brings back so many memories.
I was walking down the street wearing glasses when the prescription ran out.
The Stones, I love the Stones. I watch them whenever I can. Fred, Barney.
Love seeks no cause beyond itself and no fruit; it is its own fruit, its...
Do you know what it means to come home at night to a woman who'll...