I got this powdered water - now I don't know what to add.

Quote by Steven Wright

Topics: Steven Wright Quotes

I went to a general store. They wouldn't let me buy anything specifically.

I went to a general store. They wouldn't let me buy anything specifically.

I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like I'm...

I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like I'm...

It doesn't make a difference what temperature a room is, it's always room temperature.

It doesn't make a difference what temperature a room is, it's always room temperature.

I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit...

I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit...

I was a peripheral visionary. I could see the future, but only way off to...

I was a peripheral visionary. I could see the future, but only way off to...

If you are in a spaceship that is traveling at the speed of light, and...

If you are in a spaceship that is traveling at the speed of light, and...

It doesn't matter what temperature the room is, it's always room temperature.

It doesn't matter what temperature the room is, it's always room temperature.

I intend to live forever. So far, so good.

I intend to live forever. So far, so good.

I was trying to daydream, but my mind kept wandering.

I was trying to daydream, but my mind kept wandering.

I like to reminisce with people I don't know.

I like to reminisce with people I don't know.

I think it's wrong that only one company makes the game Monopoly.

I think it's wrong that only one company makes the game Monopoly.

If you saw a heat wave, would you wave back?

If you saw a heat wave, would you wave back?

I got a chain letter by fax. It's very simple. You just fax a dollar...

I got a chain letter by fax. It's very simple. You just fax a dollar...

Hermits have no peer pressure.

Hermits have no peer pressure.

How young can you die of old age?

How young can you die of old age?

Whenever I think of the past, it brings back so many memories.

Whenever I think of the past, it brings back so many memories.

I was walking down the street wearing glasses when the prescription ran out.

I was walking down the street wearing glasses when the prescription ran out.

The Stones, I love the Stones. I watch them whenever I can. Fred, Barney.

The Stones, I love the Stones. I watch them whenever I can. Fred, Barney.

Love seeks no cause beyond itself and no fruit; it is its own fruit, its...

Love seeks no cause beyond itself and no fruit; it is its own fruit, its...

Do you know what it means to come home at night to a woman who'll...

Do you know what it means to come home at night to a woman who'll...