If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?

Quote by Steven Wright

Topics: Love Quotes

I saw a subliminal advertising executive, but only for a second.

I saw a subliminal advertising executive, but only for a second.

Sponges grow in the ocean. That just kills me. I wonder how much deeper the...

Sponges grow in the ocean. That just kills me. I wonder how much deeper the...

I like to reminisce with people I don't know.

I like to reminisce with people I don't know.

I went to the museum where they had all the heads and arms from the...

I went to the museum where they had all the heads and arms from the...

I'm writing a book. I've got the page numbers done.

I'm writing a book. I've got the page numbers done.

The other day I... uh, no, that wasn't me.

The other day I... uh, no, that wasn't me.

Everywhere is within walking distance if you have the time.

Everywhere is within walking distance if you have the time.

I got this powdered water - now I don't know what to add.

I got this powdered water - now I don't know what to add.

George is a radio announcer, and when he walks under a bridge... you can't hear...

George is a radio announcer, and when he walks under a bridge... you can't hear...

I went down the street to the 24-hour grocery. When I got there, the guy...

I went down the street to the 24-hour grocery. When I got there, the guy...

In Vegas, I got into a long argument with the man at the roulette wheel...

In Vegas, I got into a long argument with the man at the roulette wheel...

If you saw a heat wave, would you wave back?

If you saw a heat wave, would you wave back?

I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.

I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.

I bought some batteries, but they weren't included.

I bought some batteries, but they weren't included.

I'm writing an unauthorized autobiography.

I'm writing an unauthorized autobiography.

I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize

I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize

Whenever I think of the past, it brings back so many memories.

Whenever I think of the past, it brings back so many memories.

I was a peripheral visionary. I could see the future, but only way off to...

I was a peripheral visionary. I could see the future, but only way off to...

When I was a kid, I went to the store and asked the guy, Do...

When I was a kid, I went to the store and asked the guy, Do...

I remember when the candle shop burned down. Everyone stood around singing 'Happy Birthday.'

I remember when the candle shop burned down. Everyone stood around singing 'Happy Birthday.'