If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?

Quote by Steven Wright

Topics: Love Quotes

My friend has a baby. I'm recording all the noises he makes so later I...

My friend has a baby. I'm recording all the noises he makes so later I...

Why don't they make the whole plane out of that black box stuff.

Why don't they make the whole plane out of that black box stuff.

When I woke up this morning my girlfriend asked me, Did you sleep good? I...

When I woke up this morning my girlfriend asked me, Did you sleep good? I...

I invented the cordless extension cord.

I invented the cordless extension cord.

If you were going to shoot a mime, would you use a silencer?

If you were going to shoot a mime, would you use a silencer?

Don't you hate when your hand falls asleep and you know it will be up...

Don't you hate when your hand falls asleep and you know it will be up...

I went down the street to the 24-hour grocery. When I got there, the guy...

I went down the street to the 24-hour grocery. When I got there, the guy...

If one synchronised swimmer drowns, do all the rest have to drown too?

If one synchronised swimmer drowns, do all the rest have to drown too?

Hermits have no peer pressure.

Hermits have no peer pressure.

I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.

I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.

So, do you live around here often?

So, do you live around here often?

It doesn't make a difference what temperature a room is, it's always room temperature.

It doesn't make a difference what temperature a room is, it's always room temperature.

I went to the museum where they had all the heads and arms from the...

I went to the museum where they had all the heads and arms from the...

I went to a general store but they wouldn't let me buy anything specific.

I went to a general store but they wouldn't let me buy anything specific.

Whenever I think of the past, it brings back so many memories.

Whenever I think of the past, it brings back so many memories.

I met this wonderful girl at Macy's. She was buying clothes and I was putting...

I met this wonderful girl at Macy's. She was buying clothes and I was putting...

Curiosity killed the cat, but for a while I was a suspect.

Curiosity killed the cat, but for a while I was a suspect.

My mother had morning sickness after I was born.

My mother had morning sickness after I was born.

By the worldly standards of public life, all scholars in their work are of course...

By the worldly standards of public life, all scholars in their work are of course...

It is perfectly monstrous the way people go about nowadays saying things against one, behind...

It is perfectly monstrous the way people go about nowadays saying things against one, behind...