If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?

Quote by Steven Wright

Topics: Love Quotes

Whenever I think of the past, it brings back so many memories.

Whenever I think of the past, it brings back so many memories.

My neighbor has a circular driveway... he can't get out.

My neighbor has a circular driveway... he can't get out.

I have an answering machine in my car. It says, I'm home now. But leave...

I have an answering machine in my car. It says, I'm home now. But leave...

When I was a little kid we had a sand box. It was a quicksand...

When I was a little kid we had a sand box. It was a quicksand...

I went to a general store but they wouldn't let me buy anything specific.

I went to a general store but they wouldn't let me buy anything specific.

I'm writing an unauthorized autobiography.

I'm writing an unauthorized autobiography.

Hermits have no peer pressure.

Hermits have no peer pressure.

I saw a subliminal advertising executive, but only for a second.

I saw a subliminal advertising executive, but only for a second.

I used to work in a fire hydrant factory. You couldn't park anywhere near the...

I used to work in a fire hydrant factory. You couldn't park anywhere near the...

The Stones, I love the Stones. I watch them whenever I can. Fred, Barney.

The Stones, I love the Stones. I watch them whenever I can. Fred, Barney.

My roommate got a pet elephant. Then it got lost. It's in the apartment somewhere.

My roommate got a pet elephant. Then it got lost. It's in the apartment somewhere.

I think God's going to come down and pull civilization over for speeding.

I think God's going to come down and pull civilization over for speeding.

I was reading the dictionary. I thought it was a poem about everything.

I was reading the dictionary. I thought it was a poem about everything.

So, do you live around here often?

So, do you live around here often?

I play the harmonica. The only way I can play is if I get my...

I play the harmonica. The only way I can play is if I get my...

If you can't hear me, it's because I'm in parentheses.

If you can't hear me, it's because I'm in parentheses.

I poured spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone.

I poured spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone.

There's a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.

There's a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.

When I die, I'm leaving my body to science fiction.

When I die, I'm leaving my body to science fiction.

I went to the museum where they had all the heads and arms from the...

I went to the museum where they had all the heads and arms from the...