If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?

Quote by Steven Wright

Topics: Love Quotes

When I was a kid, I went to the store and asked the guy, Do...

When I was a kid, I went to the store and asked the guy, Do...

My theory of evolution is that Darwin was adopted.

My theory of evolution is that Darwin was adopted.

I went to the museum where they had all the heads and arms from the...

I went to the museum where they had all the heads and arms from the...

I had some eyeglasses. I was walking down the street when suddenly the prescription ran...

I had some eyeglasses. I was walking down the street when suddenly the prescription ran...

If you tell a joke in the forest, but nobody laughs, was it a joke?

If you tell a joke in the forest, but nobody laughs, was it a joke?

The Stones, I love the Stones. I watch them whenever I can. Fred, Barney.

The Stones, I love the Stones. I watch them whenever I can. Fred, Barney.

I think God's going to come down and pull civilization over for speeding.

I think God's going to come down and pull civilization over for speeding.

I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.

I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.

Last week the candle factory burned down. Everyone just stood around and sang Happy Birthday.

Last week the candle factory burned down. Everyone just stood around and sang Happy Birthday.

Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time.

Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time.

The only reason people get lost in thought is because its unfamiliar territory.

The only reason people get lost in thought is because its unfamiliar territory.

I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.

I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.

I think it's wrong that only one company makes the game Monopoly.

I think it's wrong that only one company makes the game Monopoly.

I bought some instant water one time but I didn't know what to add to...

I bought some instant water one time but I didn't know what to add to...

I stayed in a really old hotel last night. They sent me a wake-up letter.

I stayed in a really old hotel last night. They sent me a wake-up letter.

My apartment was robbed and everything was replaced with exact replicas...I told my roommate and...

My apartment was robbed and everything was replaced with exact replicas...I told my roommate and...

It doesn't matter what temperature the room is, it's always room temperature.

It doesn't matter what temperature the room is, it's always room temperature.

A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths.

A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths.

God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh.

God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh.

It is perfectly monstrous the way people go about nowadays saying things against one, behind...

It is perfectly monstrous the way people go about nowadays saying things against one, behind...