I could dance till the cows come home. On second thought, I'd rather dance with the cows till you come home.

Quote by Groucho Marx

Topics: Cute Quotes, Funny Quotes

The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've...

The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've...

Life lives, life dies. Life laughs, life cries. Life gives up and life tries. But...

Life lives, life dies. Life laughs, life cries. Life gives up and life tries. But...

Quote me as saying I was mis-quoted.

Quote me as saying I was mis-quoted.

I chased a woman for almost two years only to discover her tastes were exactly...

I chased a woman for almost two years only to discover her tastes were exactly...

No-one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend

No-one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend

Do you mind if I don't smoke ?

Do you mind if I don't smoke ?

I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members.

I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members.

Remember men, we're fighting for this woman's honor; which is probably more than she ever...

Remember men, we're fighting for this woman's honor; which is probably more than she ever...

No one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend.

No one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend.

No man goes before his time - unless the boss leaves early.

No man goes before his time - unless the boss leaves early.

Marry me and I'll never look at another horse!

Marry me and I'll never look at another horse!

I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an...

I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an...

When I was young I was amazed at Plutarch's statement that the elder Cato began...

When I was young I was amazed at Plutarch's statement that the elder Cato began...

One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas...

One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas...

The first thing which I can record concerning myself is, that I was born. These...

The first thing which I can record concerning myself is, that I was born. These...

Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows, marriage does

Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows, marriage does

Alimony is like buying hay for a dead horse.

Alimony is like buying hay for a dead horse.

Women should be obscene and not heard.

Women should be obscene and not heard.

Truth cannot afford to be tolerant where it faces positive evil.

Truth cannot afford to be tolerant where it faces positive evil.

All fixed set patterns are incapable of adaptability or pliability. The truth is outside of...

All fixed set patterns are incapable of adaptability or pliability. The truth is outside of...