Do you mind if I don't smoke ?
Quote by Groucho Marx
Home is where you hang your head
One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas...
Please accept my resignation. I don't care to belong to any club that will have...
Getting older is no problem. You just have to live long enough.
Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it, misdiagnosing it, and then misapplying...
The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've...
Dont ever underestimate the importance of money. I know its often been said that money...
Practically everybody in New York has half a mind to write a book -and does
Why should I care about posterity? What's posterity ever done for me?
I must say I find television very educational. The minute somebody turns it on, I...
Next time I see you, remind me not to talk to you.
A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere.
Alimony is like buying hay for a dead horse.
Remember men, we're fighting for this woman's honor; which is probably more than she ever...
I remember the first time I had sex - I kept the receipt.
Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.
I've got the brain of a four year old. I'll bet he was glad to...
She got her looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon.
Wives are people who feel they don't dance enough.
I won't belong to any organization that would have me as a member.