I worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.

Quote by Groucho Marx

Topics: Groucho Marx Quotes

Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others.

Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others.

Who are you going to believe, me or your own eyes?

Who are you going to believe, me or your own eyes?

It isn't necessary to have relatives in Kansas City in order to be unhappy.

It isn't necessary to have relatives in Kansas City in order to be unhappy.

I wish to be cremated. One tenth of my ashes shall be given to my...

I wish to be cremated. One tenth of my ashes shall be given to my...

Well, Art is Art, isn't it? Still, on the other hand, water is water. And...

Well, Art is Art, isn't it? Still, on the other hand, water is water. And...

One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas...

One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas...

Either he's dead or my watch has stopped.

Either he's dead or my watch has stopped.

When I was young I was amazed at Plutarch's statement that the elder Cato began...

When I was young I was amazed at Plutarch's statement that the elder Cato began...

My mother loved children - she would have given anything if I had been one.

My mother loved children - she would have given anything if I had been one.

I didn't like the play, but then I saw it under adverse conditions - the...

I didn't like the play, but then I saw it under adverse conditions - the...

Practically everybody in New York has half a mind to write a book -and does

Practically everybody in New York has half a mind to write a book -and does

Whoever named it necking was a poor judge of anatomy.

Whoever named it necking was a poor judge of anatomy.

I find television to be very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I...

I find television to be very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I...

Women should be obscene and not heard.

Women should be obscene and not heard.

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.

Ever since they found out that Lassie was a boy, the public has believed the...

Ever since they found out that Lassie was a boy, the public has believed the...

Humor is reason gone mad.

Humor is reason gone mad.

Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's...

Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's...

7 colors make a rainbow, 7 chords make a music, 7 days make a week,...

7 colors make a rainbow, 7 chords make a music, 7 days make a week,...

Friendship is an arrangement by which we undertake to exchange small favors for big ones.

Friendship is an arrangement by which we undertake to exchange small favors for big ones.

A push up bra is like a bag of chips; you open the bag and...

A push up bra is like a bag of chips; you open the bag and...