I must confess, I was born at a very early age.

Quote by Groucho Marx

Topics: Age Quotes, Funny Quotes

Please accept my resignation. I don't care to belong to any club that will have...

Please accept my resignation. I don't care to belong to any club that will have...

A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke.

A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke.

All people are born alike - except Republicans and Democrats.

All people are born alike - except Republicans and Democrats.

A man's only as old as the woman he feels.

A man's only as old as the woman he feels.

I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it.

I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it.

I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can...

I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can...

No-one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend

No-one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend

Who are you going to believe, me or your own eyes?

Who are you going to believe, me or your own eyes?

Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it, misdiagnosing it, and then misapplying...

Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it, misdiagnosing it, and then misapplying...

A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.

A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.

No man goes before his time unless the boss leaves early.

No man goes before his time unless the boss leaves early.

Before I speak, I have something important to say.

Before I speak, I have something important to say.

Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows, marriage does

Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows, marriage does

The first thing which I can record concerning myself is, that I was born. These...

The first thing which I can record concerning myself is, that I was born. These...

I worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.

I worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.

Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.

Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.

Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.

Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.

I remember the first time I had sex - I kept the receipt.

I remember the first time I had sex - I kept the receipt.

I didn't like the play, but then I saw it under adverse conditions - the...

I didn't like the play, but then I saw it under adverse conditions - the...

I won't belong to any organization that would have me as a member.

I won't belong to any organization that would have me as a member.