A man's only as old as the woman he feels.

Quote by Groucho Marx

Topics: Groucho Marx Quotes

Room service? Send up a larger room.

Room service? Send up a larger room.

Why a four-year-old child could understand this report. Run out and find me a four-year-old...

Why a four-year-old child could understand this report. Run out and find me a four-year-old...

Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows - marriage does.

Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows - marriage does.

I'm leaving because the weather is too good. I hate London when it's not raining.

I'm leaving because the weather is too good. I hate London when it's not raining.

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.

From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was...

From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was...

I won't belong to any organization that would have me as a member.

I won't belong to any organization that would have me as a member.

Next time I see you, remind me not to talk to you.

Next time I see you, remind me not to talk to you.

My mother loved children - she would have given anything if I had been one.

My mother loved children - she would have given anything if I had been one.

I remember the first time I had sex - I kept the receipt.

I remember the first time I had sex - I kept the receipt.

I worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.

I worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.

Youre a woman whos been getting nothing but dirty breaks. Well, we can clean and...

Youre a woman whos been getting nothing but dirty breaks. Well, we can clean and...

I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it.

I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it.

Remember men, we're fighting for this woman's honor; which is probably more than she ever...

Remember men, we're fighting for this woman's honor; which is probably more than she ever...

Humor is reason gone mad.

Humor is reason gone mad.

Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.

Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.

Alimony is like buying hay for a dead horse.

Alimony is like buying hay for a dead horse.

I read in the newspapers they are going to have 30 minutes of intellectual stuff...

I read in the newspapers they are going to have 30 minutes of intellectual stuff...

Unless Americans come to realize that they are not stronger in the world because they...

Unless Americans come to realize that they are not stronger in the world because they...

When any one State in the American Union refuses obedience to the Confederation by which...

When any one State in the American Union refuses obedience to the Confederation by which...

The main part of intellectual education is not the acquisition of facts but learning how...

The main part of intellectual education is not the acquisition of facts but learning how...

We became spear carriers in a great televised opera. We were props in a show....

We became spear carriers in a great televised opera. We were props in a show....