A man's only as old as the woman he feels.

Quote by Groucho Marx

Topics: Groucho Marx Quotes

I read in the newspapers they are going to have 30 minutes of intellectual stuff...

I read in the newspapers they are going to have 30 minutes of intellectual stuff...

Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?

Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?

Either he's dead or my watch has stopped.

Either he's dead or my watch has stopped.

Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's...

Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's...

Dont ever underestimate the importance of money. I know its often been said that money...

Dont ever underestimate the importance of money. I know its often been said that money...

Quote me as saying I was mis-quoted.

Quote me as saying I was mis-quoted.

Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows - marriage does.

Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows - marriage does.

I won't belong to any organization that would have me as a member.

I won't belong to any organization that would have me as a member.

A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere.

A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere.

The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and...

The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and...

I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an...

I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an...

I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it.

I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it.

I remember the first time I had sex - I kept the receipt.

I remember the first time I had sex - I kept the receipt.

Before I speak, I have something important to say.

Before I speak, I have something important to say.

Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it, misdiagnosing it, and then misapplying...

Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it, misdiagnosing it, and then misapplying...

If you've heard this story before, don't stop me, because I'd like to hear it...

If you've heard this story before, don't stop me, because I'd like to hear it...

A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.

A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.

The first thing which I can record concerning myself is, that I was born. These...

The first thing which I can record concerning myself is, that I was born. These...

For life and death are one, even as the river and the sea are one.

For life and death are one, even as the river and the sea are one.

I am watching your chest rise and fall like the tides of my life, and...

I am watching your chest rise and fall like the tides of my life, and...